Things I Learnt The Hard Way

To have loved and lost

2012-02-21T23:04:00.002Z

First, way back when, it was my great-grandma, Amy. Just the fact of it, she was dead. I don't remember anything else of it.

Then my Grandma. A tannoy announcement telling me to get off the train at Basingstoke. (pre mobile phones). A night spent asleep on my parents sofa. My Dad shaking me awake to tell me she'd gone.

Then my Dad. 6 years of adjustment, preparation of a sort, 12 horrific weeks and then gone. After I rang my aunt in California I drove his car along the bypass and sang. I won't tell you the song but don't think I don't remember it. I had a brand new Taya to carry me through it all.
And now my Grandad, Poppa. On Monday Jan 30th I caught the train to Guildford and arrived 30 minutes too late to say goodbye. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday I carried on and answered of course I was okay. I wondered if I was cold hearted for not crying. Then at the funeral on Friday the Poppa-shaped hole was so glaringly obvious, my Grandma sitting alone (not on her own, just not with him), my sweet 8 year old niece rubbing her great auntie's back in the aisle in front of me, the eulogies delivered by my cousin and sister... I got outside and wept and wept. It was a beautiful day. Rest in peace Poppa. I can't wait to give Taya the farm set you made for me (3rd birthday creeping up). You will definitely not be forgotten. Have a drink with Dad for us.

Dad and Poppa

It may seem strange to segue onto my lovely friend Liz at this point, since she is happily living, (although currently in the great ole USA and soon to be in Corsica) but I did start thinking, after losing Poppa, about how right Tennyson was with his Better To Have Loved and Lost quote. One of my closest friends will not be an 18 bus ride away anymore, and that is definitely a loss. Liz was my crochet mentor, my sounding board about parenting, a fellow sufferer of Disney Princesses, a culinary inspiration (tuna melt and salmon patties will always remind me of you, Liz) and pure FUN. I have started a jar to save up the airfare so I can visit.

Hand doing weirder things than ever..

It's not all about loss though. After me and Chris confessed to each other last Monday evening that we'd totally forgotten to even get a valentine's card, I had a treat on Friday. Chris had asked me to get Mum to babysit for the day so I could help him out in the office. "Some admin work" he told me. He said it might involve taking minutes in a meeting. I shuddered but said okay. So imagine my surprise when we wake up on Friday morning and he tells me we don't have to rush (he KNOWS how long I take to get ready to leave the house). I hopped in the shower while he went to make me a cup of tea. Shower was cold. He returned and ordered me back to bed to have my tea (he'd brought it in on a tray.. "what was UP with him?!" I was thinking). Anyway, back into bed I got and there on the tray, underneath a sweet Happy Valentine's note, was our itinerary for a day trip on the Venice Simplon Orient Express. I think I was slack jawed! We did a 4 hour round trip out of London Victoria, with a 5 course meal that was absolutely exquisite. Here's the menu, and let me tell you now I ate all of it. ALL of it.

Claw hand strikes again.

"I get to drive the train, right?"

Yes. I only have one dress.

Champagne and fine husband. Life sorted.

Anyway, as if that wasn't enough, our lovely young waiter Daniel, only went and upgraded us to a coupé! Why thank you very much, don't mind if I do!

Happy.

The best part? My enterprising husband didn't rob a bank to do this, but a few years ago started an online magazine called The Arbuturian and as a result was able to suggest to the PR company of the VSOE that they might like to send us some free tickets so we could review it. Chris doesn't have a blog but he does write some mighty fine reviews. Check him out.

Got so much more to blog about but right now I have the tail end of flu (so I am telling myself) and need to get to bed. Next time; kids, the hoover, snow, drawings and fire engines.

All the good things about Brooke

2012-01-19T22:46:00.004Z

Especially for Cuckoo, but also for Brooke when she's older.

The best things about Brooke are:

Her gappy front teeth.

The way she tells me she loves me about 20 times a day. And occasionally follows with "SO much" said in a strained way like she can't quite tell me enough.

The goofy poses she pulls for photos.

And the cute ones.

How she revels in being the big sister, telling Taya the right way to do things (to her mind)
Her obsession with wearing dresses.

Her crazy hair.

How angelic she looks when she IS sleeping.

The way she makes friends with other kids so easily, and then really treasures them and speaks of them so fondly.
How she gets stuck in and involved with stuff.

(When I picked her up from nursery and found her wearing this outfit she described the spare pants she'd been given as "undercrackers".)

The way she comes into our room in the morning all blinky and scratchy saying "Good morning Mummy"

How she shares my love of cake.

How she wants to wear school dresses already.

How she dances when she thinks I'm not looking. ("Can we have the can't-stop-dancing song please?")

She's mine. I adore her little chubby cheeks and soft hair and dry skin and the way she faux-cries at things and does ballet on her scooter. I am going to do more treasuring and less moaning. Promise.

2012 so far

2012-01-10T21:51:00.001Z

I definitely want to blog more often this year. It's easy for weeks to pass by without documenting anything and hard to find the time when the list of WIPs is as long as my arm and the flat doesn't clean itself, but I think it's one of my little ME things so I should make time for it.

So the bad behaviour front continues. Mostly at bedtimes. If Brooke doesn't do the whole running around the flat, crying, screaming, physically lashing out routine then it's a more subtle kind of warfare - running amok in their bedroom, both of them climbing inside the duvet covers, pulling the lovely Russian doll bunting down, hiding in the space under Brooke's bed, putting a variety of clothes on, taking pyjamas off, getting out noisy books and pressing all the buttons, falling over and crying... the list goes on. Not forgetting the middle of the night wakings complete with a blank refusal to settle back down to sleep. Anyway, the horrendous lashing out, biting, scratching, kicking, slapping, pinching, hitting routine has slowed pace for now at least. Let's not count any chickens or eggs though. I'm including a picture of her looking cute because it's not all misery and she can be a total delight at time. I'm making a promise to myself now that my next post will be all about the ways in which Brooke is lovely.

Anyway, both she and I have a little interlude to look forward to as her wonderful Godmother Cuckoo has stepped up and volunteered to have her for a holiday at her place! She maintains that when you already have 3 kids, one more can't hurt and I'm not in the mood to argue. The train tickets are booked, the countdown calendar has been made and Brooke is already excited about helping out with the chickens and seeing the boys. ROLL ON SUNDAY 22nd and hats off to my fab friend. How lucky am I?! It will be funny just me and Taya hanging out at home, no nursery runs, lazy mornings and hopefully more peaceful evenings for 4 nights. Ahhhhh!

What else to report? Well I got a cake pop maker for Christmas, so I can jump right on the bandwagon. Well, perhaps the back of the bandwagon at any rate. The cake making and breaking up bit was always a mental stumbling block to me in the past, so this nifty little machine which cooks the mixture into perfect little balls in 4 minutes is just the ticket. I'm experimenting with a variety of icings and candy melts, with mixed results. Let's just say the taste testing is doing nothing for my figure but is highly enjoyable nonetheless. How I suffer for my art! The girls like "helping" with the sprinkles too of course.

My mum got the girls some brilliant fake teeth for Christmas. Endlessly entertaining to my mind. I am contemplating doing a family photo with all of us wearing some.

Other stuff. We went to the Tate (not much for kids to do, plenty of opportunity to say "Don't touch!" for adults), I applied for Brooke's school place (and for Taya at the accompanying nursery in two of the schools), we went to a birthday party, our lovely friends Jamie and Carol had an early visit from the stork who dropped off the utterly divine and teeny tiny Rufus, there was face painting, lots of DVD watching, pirate games... honestly no idea what else at the moment. Oh yes, great frustration over failed ripple crocheting. The valleys and hills never seem to line up. Not sure where I am going wrong. I want to make a simple ripple cushion. It shouldn't be difficult yet it is.
Oh and I read a whole book very quickly. Tony and Susan as loaned by The Harridan. A real page turner but I felt compelled to Google it afterwards to see if other people felt the same about the ending as me. Interesting. Now reading Rona Jaffe's The Best Of Everything which my Mum gave me for Christmas. Really enjoying it so far. Hoping to read at least 12 books this year which doesn't sound like a lot but my reading really slowed down over the last few years. Other than that, am finally embracing Twitter and have started using Bloom on the iphone. Harbouring grand notions that I will be more organised, more patient and quicker at everything this year. Secretly I know this is nonsense but let's have hope.

Oh and the Ben and Holly's magic wand is lost again.

A pinch and a punch.

2012-01-03T21:58:00.000Z

When you become a parent, no one tells you the following things may happen.

Your child may refuse to go to bed, night after night for months. This may vary from mild objection to outright defiance. Sometimes your child may continually get out of their bed, not even waiting for you to leave the room. Your child, if this behaviour is ignored, may stay up until 10.30pm. If you try to follow the “silent return” technique, the following things may take place.

Your child might slap you round the face. First one cheek and then the other.

Your child might throw sizeable plastic toys, a doorstopper and a shoe at you.

They may declare that you are stupid, an idiot, that they will rip you to pieces, that they are going to bite you, that they hate you.

She might pinch you, pull your hair and scratch you.

They may sit in a buggy when they are meant to be in the naughty corner and when you go to pick them up they cling on to the buggy snuggle and the whole buggy swings out and trips you up so you drop your screaming child. (You’ll feel really fabulous about that part)

Once you’ve finished the naughty corner spell half an hour later, explained that none of the above is acceptable or allowed and that they are to go to bed right away and go to sleep, you may want to go to the kitchen and have a bit of a cry. Then eat a lot of post-Christmas Ferrero Rocher.

Another thing that isn’t covered in ante-natal classes is the moment when you hear one of your children call the other one fat. A number of thoughts crossed my mind when this happened.

Firstly, should I leave them to play out their own safe conflicts?

Secondly, should I object to the word fat being used as an insult, thereby instantly making it an appealing thing for them to say?

Thirdly, should I point out that neither of them is fat? I can only see this leading to a situation whereby we have to determine exactly who is (probably at loud volume on public transport).

I did think twice about posting this but I don’t want to make out it’s all funny poo stories and finding all the Barbies having some kind of freezing Jacuzzi in the bathroom sink at 4.30am on New Years Day. I don’t really mind spending NYD detangling Rapunzel’s hair or hand sorting 800 Aquabeads into 8 colours, but I’m positively out of my comfort zone with the other stuff.

I have to say, I’m not really looking for advice as we have tried tonnes of techniques. I just wanted to get it all out.

Not much to report

2011-12-15T22:32:00.001Z

Just plodding along. Forever plodding, sometimes power walking up the bridge, always with the buggy, always late.

This is the kind of reason why I am always late.

Anyway. I have been christmas shopping, wrapping presents, frantically trying and failing to crochet christmas presents, visiting Noel in hospital and searching in vain for more lost things (a £20 voucher for an online yarn store *sob*, one of Brooke's christmas presents (a torch) and also a huge toothbrush which comes with a giant set of teeth, lent by nursery to encourage the girls with teeth brushing.) WHERE does all this stuff go?

I've also been kicked, pinched, had my hair pulled, called stupid and in one colossal tantrum, THROTTLED with my own scarf. Let's move on...

We took the girls to Winter Wonderland as a treat for Brooke managing three good nights of going to bed nicely. That stung the pockets somewhat but the girls were delighted and it looked pretty.

I got yelled at on Kilburn High Road by an elderly lady who took huge offence at Taya's lack of headwear. Everyone at the bus stop stared at me to check out my poor parenting. I managed to restrain myself from yelling at her to show me her patented device for toddler hat retainment. Honestly, does she think the thought has never occurred to me? Look at my poor mistreated children.

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Finally, whilst checking my hair for nits I found... my first grey hair. There's not really much to say about that, is there? (except that I bought a Nitty Gritty comb and my head stopped itching before I'd even used it)

We've got good news, and bad news.

2011-11-22T22:27:00.001Z

So says Taya, apropos of Ben & Holly's.

The good news, Taya has been given a temporary nursery place! She does two full days a week. I skip home and enjoy doing the housework in near silence (major building project next door = very noisy) and drink tea without warning "HOT TEA! HOT TEA!" like a parrot because they are no small clumsy people approaching. I sort out paperworky type things and make phone calls to companies who don't want to hear me remonstrating about no more biscuits before dinner. I'd like to state for the record one more time how much I LOVE the girls' nursery. It's not just the kids they look after there. Truly amazing staff, who really deserve their outstanding Ofsted rating. Hats off. Taya has settled in really well and, apart from stripping off all her clothes and refusing to eat any lunch (two separate incidents, not some strange naked protest), is doing swimmingly.

More good news. Brooke seems to have a penchant for The Eagles and LMFAO. Good eclectic taste. She also does a pretty good shuffle dance. Taya however, still jumps on the spot and demands BOTH of my hands as her version of dancing. Will not permit me to dance with Brooke. Also does this thing where (usually naked) she plants her feet wide apart, pushes her bum out and declares it to be "a bom bom dance" (Dance said to rhyme with Romance. Every time she says it I think of Chris de Burgh. Bom Bom means bottom) Nutter.

The bad news. Well Noel is still in hospital, having good days and bad days. He is much much better than the first time I visited him, thank goodness, but obviously pretty fed up with being stuck in hospital for so long. I try to visit when I can but it is tricky to go with any child who is awake. Taya always wants to press the buttons that operate the bed, and every time I tell her no, she says "Just only dockers?" This is a favourite tactic when getting told she can't do something; establish exactly who can do it, or what one can do instead.

More bad news - so many of my friends seems to be having a really rough time at the moment. I don't want to name names but I'm thinking hard about you all and hope things get better really soon. Really we all need some excellent news before too long. Here's hoping.

Other bad news. Remember how I said the girls were racking up their sticker stars for going to bed nicely? Well scrap that. Brooke in particular lulled me into a false sense of security and then WHAM. She went bad-ass. Screaming at me, screaming in my face "MAKE MY DINNER NOW!", biting, kicking, generally being defiant and unpleasant to be around. I have sobbed, and felt like a failure and asked no one in particular what I should do now. I put her in the naughty corner, she tells me "I'll just come right out!" and is true to her word. I ask her to get dressed / brush her hair / brush her teeth / put on a coat / get in the bath / stop hitting Taya / go to bed / anything else quite reasonable in the course of a day and I get a scowly face and a stomping foot in return. I spent the evening of her birthday drinking my tea outside the front door to avoid getting kicked any more and cancelled her birthday party and didn't feel the least bit bad about it. I've rediscovered my love of white wine all over again.

Obligatory photos (thinking ahead to dynamic views)

Copying her big sister

A typical expression


I love this. Sitting there playing with her beloved and most wanted birthday present, the Barbie Water Park, with a look that says it all.

How I'd like to remember her 4th Birthday

Good old Pinterest

Noel

2011-11-08T21:55:00.000Z

Tonight I pretended to call the police to tell them that Brooke wouldn't go to bed. I felt really mean but she was being a total madam and keeping Taya awake and just being rude so I made a fake call and told her that they'd said she had one more chance to go to bed and if she didn't do that then they would come round. She's asleep in bed now.

Yesterday I called them "for real life" (as Brooke would say). I hadn't been able to contact my old, elderly neighbour Noel for almost a week, and every time I went past his flat the curtains were closed. So I went round with his spare set of keys to check if he was okay. The key wouldn't work. I felt it must be locked from the inside and since I was worried I called the police. They were there within an hour and told me he had been in the hospital but the hospital said he had been released. So they broke the door down. Taya held her ears but was otherwise quite curious about what was going on; "What they doing? Where's Noel? Noel's door broken!"
I was standing there feeling pretty anxious about what they were going to tell me when they got in. But the young policeman came back out and said there was no one in there. The long and short of it is that he is still in the hospital. When pushed, the hospital replied "Oh yeah, sorry, he's been moved to another ward".
After having the door broken down.
BRILLIANT.
Well I felt a bit sheepish about it all but the police were very reassuring. They got it all boarded up again, but I wonder who'll have to pay for the new door. I felt like Noel would be furious at me for being an old worrier and causing all this trouble. I picked up Brooke, bought some grapes, bananas and a toothbrush (Brooke - "But how will Noel brush his teeth in hospital? We should get him a toothbrush") and trotted down to St Mary's. I found him there and went to deliver the news.
He's not angry with me. I wish he was. I think he's had a stroke. He can't talk, or move. The irony of the toothbrush is that the hospital have lost his false teeth. Because I'm not family so the doctors won't tell me what's happened, but we have pieced together that he was on his own in the flat for 3 days after whatever happened. The police broke the door down then, and changed the locks which is why my key didn't work.

If you pray, can you please include Noel in your thoughts? Going and holding his hand and talking at him for 30 minutes a day doesn't feel like enough. But I'm not sure what else I can do.

All sorts of things. Mostly parenting.

2011-11-03T22:06:00.001Z

Once again life has got in the way of blogging somewhat. I've been a bit ill with a horribly lurgy that made me totally nauseous and with tummy cramps for a few days. Fingers crossed it's on the way out now though. Of course it's half term week as well so we're working through a bucket list of activities and seeing friends. Apart from today. We've been out to the pirate playground in the rain and are now back home watching Labyrinth. We rented that and Shrek Forever After from the library for the grand price of 60p for a week. Bargain! I love the library.
As I mentioned last time, it's been the season for kids birthday parties. Chris took the girls to two whilst I was away in Salcombe, and we did two more last weekend. Hats off to those parents for all the hard work involved, and thanks for the yummy food and the very well received party bags.

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This is Taya doing the "Little bit funny?" face

Taya and I went to the Zoo the other week, with our friends Becky and the beautiful twins Millie and Grace. Taya LOVED it! And it was a great place for some cool photos:

Obviously I started this post weeks ago now, and not had a chance to finish it. Motivation has been low. People keep asking what I've been up to and I say "Oh I've been really busy doing.... erm, well, stuff..." I guess all the day to day stuff has been, well, daily and of course I am fighting the losing battle of tidying up versus two kids who like their toys to inhabit every single room and surface they can access. One of my friends posted a picture on Facebook today which summed it all up quite nicely I thought.

Moving on, I've been potty training Taya. Here's something I learnt the hard way - don't be smug about your below-average-potty-training-age-toddler being doing the occasional wee on the potty. It counts for nothing. Nothing I tell you. The number of pairs of pants I've had to chuck away, and the number of times I've had to carry her, my arms outstretched whilst she tries to wrap her soiled legs around me, calling for Brooke to PLEASE get me another carrier bag from under the sink. I've cleaned poo off the walls in Starbucks and wiped it off Taya's shoulders and hair. It's been SHIT. (sorry) But, we had a small breakthrough today, on day three of the smiley face versus sad face potty training reward chart, of NO SAD FACES today! Woo! Taya was rewarded with a book of magnetic trains. Brooke sulked because there was nothing for her.

Speaking of reward charts, the girls have been racking up the sticker stars after we hit breaking point two weeks ago. After a particularly hideous night on my own, spending two hours trying to convince Brooke to go to bed, I ended up taking her to nursery the next morning feeling slightly fragile. "I'm cold!" said she. "Here, let's get a cardigan out of your peg bag" I replied. "NO!" was her reply and that was it, I dissolved in the middle of the nursery, unable apparently to even meet her basic requirements, or to at least have her let me meet them. For the past two years I've been dry as a rock, hardly ever crying even when it really probably would have been for the best. But right then, one of the lovely ladies at the nursery spotted me and did that awful / lovely thing of saying "Are you okay?" at the very moment when I really wasn't, and that was it, the floodgates OPENED. I was whisked off by one of the teachers (honestly, they are all amazing there) for a chat, then sent off for a moment on my own with a cup of tea. Taya was allowed to stay in nursery for a bit and was in her element. Anyway, this is not a pity party, I have moved on and, given the reward chart progress, so have the girls. They get 3 possible stars a night - one for settling down nicely, another for staying in their bed all night, and a third for getting up at a "good time". We all have these rocky times, I know I am not alone!

Another thing I've been meaning to mention for a while is that, momentously on Friday 9th September, the girls gave up their dummies! Praise be! Chris was away doing the Shelterbox Dartmoor Challenge and Brooke spontaneously decided she wanted the dummy fairy to visit that night and Taya followed suit. After rummaging around the flat for suitable rewards I found a Barbie doll for Brooke and the Enchanted DVD for Taya (thank you Oxfam, Kilburn High Road). They were delighted and never looked back. I am very relieved that's ticked off the list.

Speaking of charity shops, a while ago I found a pair of Skechers Light Up trainers in Taya's size, for the princely sum of £3. Brooke was really miffed. "Where's MY pair?" she pleaded. I promised to look out for more in her size. Whaddya know, I found them in Oxfam Edgware Road during half term. What are the odds? Another £3. Bargain.

Finally, I am trying very hard not to think about the fact that one of my best friends is going to be leaving me in the new year. Liz, you are going to be very sorely missed. *Can everyone please give Liz a high five for taking Brooke for a sleepover on the night of the day I fell apart?* I can't think about it anymore now or I will have another breakdown.

It's been a while / Blanket Apologies

2011-10-17T13:56:00.002+01:00

First a disclaimer.
Sorry I've forgotten dates, missed events, scrabbled together last minute things for people when I should have planned it out long in advance, not rung, rung too much, not known what to say... sorry I'm not more pleased to see you when you wake me up for the fifth time in the middle of the night, sorry I'm not more patient when it takes two hours of putting small people back into beds before they finally give up and go to sleep, sorry for not being a better friend, sister, daughter, wife, mother. Sometimes, my best just doesn't feel anywhere near good enough. And I'm not being hard on myself, I just need to get with the program a bit more. You know when you don't have things right in front of you you can forget they're going on? It's been a bit like that, gliding around in my own bubble of 5k a day nursery tos and fros, scooter balanced on top of the buggy, stopping every ten steps to wipe noses and retrieve drinks / snacks / sunglasses etc. Feeding, cleaning, entertaining on repeat. Also add in trying to apply for a school place for Brooke, trying to think of how I can work when I can only get Taya into nursery for 3 hours a day, running up a £400 electricity bill in 3 months, lying awake at 5am worrying about things not due to happen till next year and I just feel a bit too thinly spread. So each time I think about blogging I end up not doing it because I decide something else needs doing first. Except today, I needed to get that all out of my head now. I haven't been able to keep up with other blogs either I'm afraid, sorry about that too.

Here's what else we've been up to then.

Chris had two weeks off and we spent some time in the West Country visiting all the grandparents. Here we are at Nana and Grandad's allotment with a large marrow. Notice Taya not being happy about me taking a photo. This is a recurring theme.


Brooke was happy to pose.


In RaRa's garden. Taya happy this time... ruining my theme comment above.

At the beach in Seaton

It was super windy, hence the scarf around the head. Look you can see Taya thinking about complaining.

Also at Seaton, the girls found some rides which caused hilarity I could hear from three shops away. I came outside to see what was so funny and this is what I found.

We managed to pop over and see an old friend from my school days, Melissa, and her beautiful triplets.

Me being late as usual led to a very brief catch up with Bee at the rec where we played when we were kids (not together, we weren't mates back then, stupidly)


Taya, not happy again.

We took a day in London to go and see the statue at Marble Arch which we call the Jelly People. Not sure if that's its proper name, and the girls dipped their feet in the fountains / pond.

We also spent a wonderful afternoon with my old friend Rach, who I lived with in sunny Clapton back in 2000. She has since returned to her native Australia so this was a rare treat. She has two girls as well, similar ages to mine, so we compared notes as we visited the allotment in Kensington Gardens and fed the chickens.

And there were lots of early evenings in the gardens, often with wine. Don't Taya and Ned look like siblings here?

I had some time off over the last month too. I took a day trip to Leeds to see my friends Ellie and Dan and (shamefully) meet their son Gray on his first birthday. The train journey alone was a nice chance to relax, and once there I got stuck into the white wine and caught up with the happy family and some long lost mutual friends.

Then last weekend I was awarded THREE whole nights away from home! Night one was at Cuckoo's house, followed by a whole day of sitting on my backside, crocheting and admiring little Wilf. Look at the gorgeousness! Such a sunny baby.

We then went to Cuckoo's seaside house in Salcombe with Bee and Bonnie. I think I ate my own weight in delicious food. I crocheted two headbands for the girls. One of which turned out to only fit premature newborns and one which is okay. I am going to try Annaboo's pattern next time.
It was lovely to get away and spend some time chatting without constant interruptions, to do some crochet and have a few lie-ins. Bliss! Here we are. We had a lovely long boozy lunch on the Saturday, chatting and laughing and snapping away. Mostly laughing.

It's taken me 4 hours to write this, on and off in between changing the beds, making lunch, hanging out the laundry, doing playdough with Taya and the electricity meter man coming and awesomely proving I cannot be trusted to read the meter myself - it is lower than the reading I gave so we should be getting an adjusted bill. Whoop! Anyway, the point was that I must go now and get ready to do the next nursery run in a bit. I have a whole other post to do about kids parties and the zoo and some finished crochet. Till then...!

Recent treasures and painted faces

2011-09-15T22:37:00.000+01:00

I should start by warning that this will only be of interest if
a) you are a charity shop fanatic like myself
b) you are interested in what kids clothes and home goods I buy
c) you are stalking me

Moving on then, here are my recent cherry tree treasures (c) Gem

Yes, Cath Kidston coasters and placemats! Placemats cost £4.95 instead of £18. Coasters were £2.95. Thank you Sue Ryder on Praed Street.

A Bonpoint cardigan for Brooke when she is 6 (and I have changed her name by deedpoll to Alice Ponsonby-Smythe). £1 from Cancer Research on Kilburn High Road (fast becoming my most favourite charity shop hang out)

A Zara kaftan type top which is blue and wonderful at hiding Cumberland sausage hernia bump but also ripping at the seams at the back. I am considering supergluing it all together because I like it so much. Oxfam Kilburn High Road, £3

A Hennes blue blouse which probably needs a built-in vest and also reveals far too much of my upper arms. But is still a very pretty shade of blue. Sue Ryder on Praed Street again, £3.50

An Emma Bridgwater biscuit tin. £2.99 from YMCA on Queensway.

Ahhh and I have happy news! LOOK what I found!

The missing magic wand I nearly paid £8 to replace!

See how happy the elf and fairies are now that the magic has returned to their castle? I am much relieved. It was in Brooke's box of Lego which I guess she hadn't played with for a while. PHEW. Honestly, does anyone else get as stupidly wound up about lost things?

I finally splashed out in the ELC sale and got some Snazaroo face paints for the girls. They are always desperate to have their faces painted yet are completely incapable of not twisting their head to see the TV. My art skills never were much to write home about, but they seem happy nonetheless.

This is a pretty boring post. I am tired. Sorry.

Happy Birthday Dad.

2011-09-12T10:56:00.001+01:00

1985

Lately. Non-sequiturs galore.

2011-09-02T23:21:00.000+01:00

Hello, thank you for all the lovely comments yesterday. I really was feeling a bit rubbish and weepy. Drinking wine certainly does seem to be the way forward sometimes. Taya used to call Brooke BOB which my lovely friend Emma got right in Facebook comments when I linked up there. Em if you are reading this I will bring your pressie with me when I visit, and can I say a big YAY for that. I have lots of nice time off planned over September and October for which I am very grateful.

So something I should say since I have been asked a few times. No, I have not found the stealth poo anywhere. I am really praying that Taya did the right thing and hid it in the toilet or bin. I have looked EVERYWHERE and there is no whiff to give me a clue so all seems okay. Or maybe it was just... you know, let's not go there. Let's really not.

I would like to show you what we've been up to lately. We did some crafting, which I probably got into more than the girls. Love a bit of cutting and sticking. We, or maybe I, made this birdhouse using Jane's tutorial over at Tea Wagon Tales I need to get a bird for it but that has been quite low down my list of priorities.

Then we made a row of houses. This was fun!

"Hullo!"

I had a visit last week from one of my oldest buddies, Gem. We have known each other since we were 16 which is now rather a long time! I could do a montage of photos of us through the years, from way back before we learnt about plucking our eyebrows, through some interesting fashion choices (mine) and hilarious bird photos and onto the current day, but I'll need her go ahead to do that! Anyway, suffice to say we don't get to see each other as often as we'd like now, but when we do it is aces. Really, really fabulous. We both talk nineteen to the dozen which is even harder with little voices going "Mummy! Mummy!" every two seconds. She had a whole HEAP of goodies for me, since we both love our charity shop bargains, as well as some pretty tea towels to jazz up my kitchen, and some chocolate for me and Chris which I hid and ate on my own. Her boy is just a little younger than Taya, and it was really seeing him which made me realise just how much of a handful Taya is. Whilst he was sitting beautifully playing with cars, minding his own business, Taya was charging around, climbing up everything she could find, taking all her clothes off and screeching loudly. I guess it's all relative, she is just what I am used to. Here we all are in the gardens. (I look weird. And I have claw hand which happens quite often in photos. I look like I am clutching people in a sinister way. I used to have timmy foot too, where I apparently couldn't stand with my feet flat on the floor. Weirdo.)

What else? Oh yes, we had a minor electrical fire the other night. There was a loud bang as we were getting ready for bed. We thought it was just a blown fuse but then Chris spotted sparking behind a fuse box in the kitchen. Turned out that damp had been getting in there over a long time causing the wires to short and then spark. It was all burnt out in there which meant we had to turn off the fuses for all the kitchen appliances and also the girls room where the wireless router comes in, and the landline obviously. Chris thought that we could probably wait a day or so to get an electrician. But I, having small hungry mouths to feed and an insatiable appetite for caramel lattes and the internet, begged to differ. One of the best things about moving to the new flat has been making friends with The Harridan. (Visit her blog, for she is hilarious and brilliant) And her husband saved the day, bringing a sparky who was both friendly and efficient and patched things up. That was a very good moment in a tricky week.

Oh and here is a photo from the day of the black eye and music box incidents:

L-R: Happy, Happy, Happy, Whingey.

Here's another random thing. We have twice visited our friends in Queens Park, and twice seen this panda stuck up a tree. I love it! So bizarre and the girls insist on having their pics taken with it.

Here is Taya yesterday having the yogurt washed off her torso and fairy skirt. Needless to say everything ended up soaked.

Some more assorted pics from the summer. Don't want to leave out any friends we saw!

Dress Up Princesses

Trust Taya to be a Christmas Elf when the theme is clearly DISNEY.

Bubbles in the gardens.

In a borrowed, too-big swimming costume.

Brooke breastfeeding her baby doll.

And finally. Okay Primark. WHAT. THE. HELL? Seriously, are there real life men out there wearing these monstrosities? Going to bed in the evening all wrapped up in their onesies? I am disturbed.

And really finally, can I direct your attention to these pieces of brilliance?
First up is DearPhotograph. I may be late on the bandwagon here, but am SO going to do this.
And secondly parenting products to traumatise your child. (Don't read this Grandma, it's a bit rude and sweary!)

(And why am I getting hits from gothise.com? Anyone else?)

Giveaway. Pick me up please someone.

2011-09-01T15:02:00.000+01:00

The girls are breaking me today. I am done in. I have something nice to give away. Leave me a comment telling me what Taya used to call Brooke and I'll send it to you. The first person only, obviously. It's a nice Cath Kidston present.

Anyone else who leaves me a lovely comment to remind me I am not alone in this endless, relentless battle of tidying, "please just eat your lunch" and "stop hitting your sister" will also receive good karma, possibly in the post.

Thank you.

What happens when you go through your husband's phone

2011-08-28T23:11:00.000+01:00

..Is that you find proof that you were part of the summer's activities as well!

At Crazy Homies. Smack bang in the middle of our tequila phase.

World's slowest carousel at Chessington

Taya's squealing face

Better view of elephants.

Studying fossils at the Natural History Museum


Pose fest.

In other news, we went to the Notting Hill Carnival today for the first time ever. It was loud. There were lots of girls in skimpy outfits shaking their booty. Taya clutched her ears and hid her face. We went to Tinseltown for overpriced milkshakes and a portion of chips then took the girls to the playground. I feel like a misery for not getting into it. Maybe I did the whole thing wrong. Hey ho.

I spent the rest of today falling asleep on the sofa with a really low-grade cold. Brooke kept poking me and Taya lay cold plastic animals on my hands. I continue to be obsessed with Pinterest and listening to Two Door Cinema Club's Something Good Can Happen, which is probably the most inspirational happy song I know. Tired. Happy.

Injuries, lost things, poo. (Not for delicate souls to read)

2011-08-24T21:36:00.000+01:00

Sorry I've been a bit absent of late, and certainly haven't had time to read or comment on other blogs as much as I'd like to. We've just been a bit hectic. Summer holidays are great but I am quite looking forward to term time and slowing down the pace a little, making fewer plans, hanging loose more often and so on. Not that I've not been enjoying myself but yesterday things got a little out of hand. We'd had some friends over for lunch and playing in the afternoon and ended up going to soft play with some other kids. On the way home me and my friend commented on how they should all be worn out and give us an easy evening. Famous last words.

So we were walking home, and the girls were both whining that the snacks I had were wrong. Brooke started whinging about an invisible elbow injury which strangely spread to the other elbow and then to knees as well. Then not just whinging but whiney-crying as well. Taya started to doze off in the buggy which I had to put an end to as that would spell bedtime disaster (on a bigger scale than usual) so she was crying too. So people were clearing a path and I was trying to power walk two sobbing children home in the rain. We got to the front door, and Brooke spotted a tiny bug which she was watching. Cue Taya stomping over the threshold and the end of the bug. More sobbing from Brooke. I took them both to the living room, plonked them on the sofa and set about putting a DVD on so I could make their dinner and hopefully appease them and rescue the situation. There was MORE whinging about it being the wrong DVD but I persevered and got the film going and went off to the kitchen to make the chips and fish fingers Brooke had asked for. Every two minutes she was calling out "Are my chips ready yet?" and I was trying to make grown up dinner as well and clean up.

Suddenly there was an anguished cry from the living room, one of those un-ignorable ones. I headed in to find Taya running around with no clothes on and Brooke clutching her eye with both hands, sobbing that Taya had pushed a plastic baby bottle in her eye. I decided the first thing to do was comfort Brooke, and was doing so when she declared in panicked tones "I need a wee! I need a wee!". Off to the toilet we went, her still crying, me feeling rather stressed and thinking of how to best discipline Taya when she presented herself at the toilet door.

And handed me a music box. With two poos in it.

"Here you go Mummy"

Yep, there's nothing quite like pooing in a box to show everyone how sorry you are for giving your sister a black eye.

The injuries have been quite monumental actually. The day before was a catalogue of them. Taya fell off her chair at the table and banged her chin. Then we went to pick Brooke up from nursery and Taya fell down three stairs. On the way home Brooke went flying and bloodied her knee (brilliantly stating through the tears and wracking sobs "It's okay! I'm fine! I'm brave!"). Then back at home they both spilt water on the wooden floor. So I mopped it up and went to get a towel to dry it. Too late, Taya came running in and went flying, sporting ANOTHER huge eggy bump on her forehead. As I warned Brooke not to run she did the exact same thing in the same spot and we all sat on the floor, them crying and me clutching them to me wondering when all this accident-prone-ness will end. Their legs are black and blue with scabby knees. Brooke has the black eye and Taya has the lumpy head. Those helmets you can get for kids suddenly don't seem so silly.

Speaking of silly, I've been obsessing lately about all the things I've lost. The list includes two pairs of girls goggles (bought and worn once, then poof! GONE), a set of house keys, Belle from Brooke's Beauty and The Beast playset (so kind of useless without Belle) and the Ben and Holly's magic wand. You can actually order a replacement one but by the time you've paid for that and the postage that's another £8 on top of the cost of the blooming thing which is suddenly WAY too much for a plastic toy). I found a bag I'd lost and that made me feel better. The house keys I know are here somewhere, as I am really careful with keys, but can't lay my hands on them.

Oh and we had another poo incident this evening. (Sorry) Taya took her nappy off and when I picked it up it was clear she'd done one. Except the nappy was empty. "Where's your poo Taya?" (THE THINGS I find myself saying...) "GONE Mummy! Poo...HIDING!"

Excellent. That's something I'm really not looking forward to finding.

Random photos.

Finally scanned Brooke bungee trampolining. Observe the glee!

Girls in Starbucks.

They love each other really.

Deckchairs. Ice creams.

Cuteness.

Pocket ladybirds.

The alarm call

2011-08-15T19:48:00.000+01:00

I haven't used an alarm clock for a long time now. My day starts when the girls wake up. I am NOT a morning person. In the old flat, the girls couldn't open their bedroom door so I would be woken by small fists hammering on wood across the hallway from our bedroom. It was not a peaceful wake up call. I'd stagger out, release whichever monster was up first (latterly Taya would climb out of her cot to imitate her big sister) and try to extract one child without waking the other.

Nowadays, their new bedroom door is a breeze and I am woken by my well-honed mothers ears pricking up at the sound of our bedroom door brushing over the carpet, followed by little bare feet padding along the passageway between the door and the bedroom proper, before ambling along my side of the bed and poking me in the eye. This is typically followed by a request to use the toilet, a cup of milk or to play the monkey game on my phone. Remarkably, this is preferable to the hammering as it means I can stay in bed and kid myself that we might both go back to sleep a while longer. Even more remarkably, this sometimes actually happens when Taya is not singing broken verses of Twinkle Twinkle. Then inevitably another child will join us and even in a super king size bed two wriggly children can make you feel there is simply not enough space and you might as well just get up and make a cup of tea. That's what I tell Chris to do in any case. Like I said, I am not a morning person and I do need a cup of tea to get going.

One day, I am going to wake up before the girls, and I am going to go into their room and poke them in the eyes and ask them to make me breakfast. That day feels a long way away.

So I am curious, how do you get woken up? What is the best way to be roused from sleep?

Sweeter Than This (Photo heavy!)

2011-08-12T21:44:00.001+01:00

I wouldn't say life is all plain sailing at the moment, these are undeniably tricky years in some senses. But I would hate to look back in later life and forget that I had an appreciation of how easy we had it in so many ways. Surely, to the girls, these are halcyon days. The past few weeks alone have been a calendar of activities and fun! Let's not forget to mention that this is all set against a political backdrop of riots across the UK. On that note I will write for posterity that I saw nothing, other than the broken windows of many shops along the local high street, Queensway. The news is full of it, discussions on whether society is broken, has failed those who decided to loot and set fire to people's homes and businesses. All I can say is thankfully they are a minority. A stupid, ignorant minority who kid themselves that they have a point to make. Families evicted because the kids have been convicted in taking part? I say okay. I fully support the police and utterly condemn those idiot looters who even thought stealing crisps from Poundland was a good idea. I am loving the use of the internet and social media to name and shame those who took part. The most striking local story was of the attack on the Ledbury Restaurant. Just, wow. Anyway, moving on...

We went to the London Transport Museum as I think I mentioned before. But here are some photos. Taya eluded us a couple of times only to repeatedly turn up in the old omnibus. They got a rubber duck and a bus pencil sharpener from the museum shop whilst I coveted yet resisted some fabulous posters.

We also went to the Science Museum with our new-found neighbour friends. This was when Taya did that hilarious falling over episode after bouncing back on some hanging elastic. They got some bubbles and silly putty from the museum shop, and on the way back we went to the Serpentine Gallery Pavilion.

Last week we went to visit Brooke's godmother, Cuckoo, out in the countryside. Gorgeous weather for a couple of days meant the kids were permanently outside and tearing around. You'd think that would lead to easy, peaceful bedtimes, wouldn't you? But no. Anyway, that didn't detract from my enjoyment of our time away. Me and Cuckoo managed to sneak in a bit of crochet, a couple of muddled mojitos and some wonderful food. I got to see my delightfully funny godson (he's the one leading the charge with the Buzz Lightyear mask on!) and his fabulous brothers, to meet the new chickens and talk crafting, blogging and parenting.

One day last week was so glorious the kids in the square gardens ended up playing under the garden hose. Is there anyone whose childhood hasn't involved playing naked in water in public? I know for years I was mortified by my parents' polaroids of my own such episode! So dear girls, here is that moment for you, shared with the whole internet. You can even see the rainbow in this pic!

And in Whiteleys one day they had bungee trampolining set up, so I waited for Taya to fall asleep then took Brooke and Alyssa on. My photos are of their feet disappearing out of shot, typically. I have one good photos of each of them which I need to scan in once I find the cable for the printer. Buit they loved it! It's one of those things I LOVED doing as a child (truth be told I would still be up there if my pelvic floor wasn't somewhat iffy) so I do like to indulge the girls when they ask to take part.

And finally, we went to the Chessington World of Adventures for my sister's birthday. The girls loved it! Taya was big enough this year to be allowed onto a couple of rides and showed no fear whatsoever. In fact she squealed with glee all the way round! Poor Brooke fell over right before the Runaway Train ride and spent the duration screaming with bleeding knees. (Such is the mark of a three year old, all oomph and less co-ordination.) We took them on the Pirate Boats, the Carousel, the flying elephants, Hocus Pocus House and Bubble Works and Brooke went on the Berry Bouncers, the dodgems and Mr Toad's Crazy Cars. Me and Chris managed to sneak off to go on Dragon's Fury and Vampire too.

In addition to all of this, we have been seeing friends, going to the park, birthday parties and baking, as well as making good use of the bubble machine on the terrace.

As for me and Chris, well I think this will be remembered as the Cocktail Summer. We have got into margaritas and mojitos ever since our fancypants meal at Apsleys, so now whenever we have margaritas we do a Facebook check-in to The Salty Rim. When it's mojitos we're at the Buena Vista Social Club. It's awfully misleading. Lovely Gem asked me the other day if we had a new babysitter since we seem to be out all the time these days! But no, we are just boozing at home. The kitchen is scented with lime juice and I love it.

As for the post title, not my favourite video but lovely lyrics and melody. Katie Herzig - Sweeter Than This

Yay, an award!

2011-08-09T13:50:00.002+01:00

The lovely Nicki has given me an award.

Thanks Nicki! As such I have to reveal ten interesting facts about me. I can't promise they will all be interesting but they are all true.

I LOVE playing Scrabble, and am not bad at it. I have lots of games of Words With Friends on the go on my phone. Anyone want to play? My username is keska so hit me up!
Me and Chris got married in Las Vegas in 2007. We told our parents about it 3 days before we went, and told them I was pregnant at the same time. We didn't tell our friends until after the event, other than my sister and best man who came out with us obviously. Due to immigration queues at Chicago we missed our connecting flight, despite sprinting through the airport, and were told there were no more available flights to Vegas. We had to ring up the helpdesk for advice, at which point I pulled the "I'm pregnant and distressed!" card which got us onto another flight going to San Francisco. I cried on this flight because we'd been on the go for hours, none of us were sitting together and weren't even heading to Vegas at that point. The stewards took pity on us and gave us free food and drinks in the CABIN. We had breakfast in London, lunch in Chicago, dinner in San Francisco and drinks in Vegas when we finally arrived later on and hit the casino. That was a long day!
A few years ago I had a Devil Wears Prada job. It had its perks but left me with an irrational hatred of the expressions "Bang on trend" (so, it's trendy then?) and "Suchandsuch TEAMED WITH whatever" (CLOTHES ARE NOT ON SPORTS TEAMS PEOPLE). I had a moment recently where I couldn't remember the name of my then-boss and felt incredibly relieved. She was totally unpredictable with her behaviour which left me feeling permanently anxious. She once made me take notes for an entire taxi journey from Bath to London. Awful, awful woman.
I used to have 5 piercings (three in ears, nose and tongue) and 1 tattoo. Now I have two ear piercings and one tattoo which I hate. I keep wanting to get my nose re-done but am having serious identity issues about it (that's a whole other post)
I was miserable at school from about 12-16 years old. I was teased for being really skinny and had hardly any friends. I changed school for 6th Form and met some of my best buddies who I'm still very much in touch with. Our school was called Sexeys. Honestly.
I am one of those annoying ex-smokers who now can't stand the habit. I have been ten years without a cigarette now and since my Dad died of lung cancer two years ago, can honestly say it's one of the best things I've ever done. You always think you're invincible and it'll happen to someone else but it just doesn't. I can smell it on people a mile off and particularly hate it when people smoking on the street flick their ash without looking where it's going. I have told a man off for flicking it into Taya's face before. Urgh.
Despite typically being an early adopter of techy things, I cannot yet get my head around Twitter. I think I need to try harder. Who is on there and who should I follow?
I had a hernia repair operation last year and now have a small sausage shaped protrusion above my belly button which is insensitive to touch. Reallllllly attractive. However, the forced bed rest meant I learnt how to crochet, so there's a bright side.
I am BANG ON TREND in collecting russian dolls. I have a few varieties but don't want to buy any new ones, only second hand ones in charity shops.

The penguin is one too.

10. I get ridiculously excited when the postman delivers to us, and then do a small sad face when it is all bills and stuff for people who used to live here. Nothing makes my day more than unexpected happy mail.

I'm going to pass this award onto

Busy Bee
Grateful for Crochet
The Harridan

Feel free to play or not ladies, I know this award has already done the rounds.

I have heaps of other stuff to write about but a limited window of time whilst Brooke is at nursery and Taya is asleep, so more later hopefully.

Take one day...

2011-07-31T22:22:00.000+01:00

I finally decided to stop thinking about things I want to do and DID some instead. I was a little in credit in terms of child free time as Chris was doing a triathlon today (he smashed his PB and did really well, so well done husband of mine!) and he took the girls out this morning so I could get my mini sewing machine out. It really is mini, it is just for thin fabrics really but I'm not about to make curtains.

Anyway, here we go in case anyone is feeling inspired, in tutorial format.

1) Decide you don't want any more children in a swift mind change from the day before, and get out those t-shirts which no longer fit your youngest but which you really really love. Thank you H&M.

2) Sew the bottom edges together. Sew up the arm holes in a straight line up from the body. Redo this until the stitches take hold if you have a mini sewing machine like mine.

3) Stuff with polyfil you got on ebay and kept in a cupboard for 6 months.

4) Sew up the space you left for stuffing (i.e. the neck) and present to your child as a pillow or a cushion.

5) Blanket stitch the sewed up edge later if you have time, in a nice contrasting colour. No, honestly I am going to do this. At some point.

Then, whilst the children are watching TV you can take a set of Ikea drawers like this and make them pretty. (I found mine in the hallway of a building we used to live in but am reliably informed they are from Ikea.) Someone already painted mine white but they had got grubby. I didn't think to take a photo until after I had done one drawer.

Then totally steal someone else's idea from Pinterest and cover the lot of them in nice stack card you bought in Dunelm Mill 2 years ago. The best part about doing this project was getting to use the brilliantly named MOD PODGE.
And ta-dah!

(Sorry for the picture quality, I uploaded these without camera+ing them.)

Just to make things interesting, whilst I was tidying up Taya decided to go and wash her own hands, which meant she climbed on the toilet and over the cistern to sit on a little tiled ledge by the sink. Except today she fell. I heard her screaming and went in to find her with a big bluey-white egg forming in the middle of her forehead at the hairline. I ummed and ahhed and put a bag of frozen peas on it, called my friend Emma to get a second opinion and eventually decided to take her to A&E. You just never know with head injuries. A friend of mine from uni once fell down some rocks on holiday and ended up in a coma which really shook me up, so I prefer to err on the side of caution with these things. Anyway, she is totally fine and back to her mischief self. On the way home we called into a local promotional fair with no money and a useless card in my wallet. We scored a medal for each girl, a goody bag each containing lip balms, mangos, apples and some QPR inflatable batons (?!) and then blagged some helium balloons, one of which Brooke promptly unleashed over St Mary's Hospital. We walked home with four balloons attached to us and then I had to do a home version of face painting since the stall at the fair was closed (lots of fake crying from Brooke), except I don't have any face paints so I just drew some swirls over their faces with Crayola Mini Markers. I am never paying for a face painter again since this was apparently a satisfactory substitute!

Taggy Dogs and Cats

2011-07-29T13:55:00.000+01:00

When Brooke was a baby she was given a Mary Meyer Taggies Sleepy Fleece Dog by a friend I met at ante-natal classes. Anyway, after a while she took this dog and made him her own and he became the favourite toy, her comforter. She slept with at least one Taggy Dog every night, putting him over her face and gently rubbing the ribbon tags. I quickly cottoned on that we would need at least one spare for the inevitable time when one was puked on or lost. Hello and thank you eBay. I once rang Marks and Spencers and Woolworths to ask if they had found a blue and green fleecy square with a dogs head and tagged ribbons on it.

Here she is as a round faced baby using one as a pillow.

With one or two toys...

Again all roundy faced in a Woolworths mac which still fits her today (meant to be 6-9 months)

On holiday in France.

Anyway, let me show you a Taggy Dog timeline pictorially. Is that a word? Visually then.


A nearly pristine version. Note the printed ribbons and satin bones. The ears are still attached to the head with a small stitch.

Ears now unstitched. Ribbons slightly faded.


Ribbon print nearly all gone.


Ribbons totally faded. Satin bones starting to fray. Fleece kinda bobbly. See how HAPPY this one looks though!


Ribbon print unrecognisable. Satin bones almost falling off, fleece really bobbly and not very pleasing to touch. A bit whiffy despite washing.

It is no surprise then, that Brooke now goes to bed every night with this:

Yes, one of Taya's Taggy Cats. Newer, softer and less smelly.

I am thinking of making bunting out of the old dogs. What comforters do your kids have? And what lengths have you gone to when they're missing? Can anyone top Gem's article in the local press to find her son's?

The things they say and do

2011-07-27T20:57:00.000+01:00

We've had some wonderful quotes recently. Here are a selection.

Brooke:

"You mean old potato"

"Why are you so evil?" (as if asking what is for lunch)

"Mummy, when my pretend cake is ready, you can have it. Because I love you. In my heart"

"When I was a baby, I loved you"

"You are the best cook in the world!"

I do love how Brooke plays up to me, promising me imaginary cakes and praising my kitchen skills. She knows how to work me that one. I was really impressed by the imagination involved in the mean old potato comment until I realised she'd lifted it directly from Toy Story.

Taya:

Taya is properly talking as well now, so I quite often get two voices chiming in harmony "Back-chat! Back-chat!" when I tell them not to give me any backchat. She also quite brilliantly tried to swerve a telling off recently in the following way.

Me - "That was very naughty Taya, you mustn't (I forget the crime) hit Brooke / throw toys around" etc

Taya, holding thumb and forefinger close together in front of one eye "Little bit funny?"

Me, fighting laughter "No, not funny, very naughty"

Taya, holding finger and thumb slightly further apart with really cheeky grin - "Bit funny?"

Me - "No, you mustn't..."

Taya - arms outstretched now - "BIG BIT FUNNY?!"

I mean, what can you do at that point? Clearly I have no authority with her and she is just going to be a very cheeky girl who will get away with all sorts as she gets older. As I have mentioned before she has a finely tuned sense of humour for one so young. Let's also catalogue her other recent activities:

Cut her own hair with scissors after watching me cut Chris's hair
Sprayed Dettol in her eye after scaling the toilet and the ledge in the bathroom
Helped herself to a carton of apple juice from the fridge, took it and a plastic cup to the table and poured the apple juice everywhere.
Took a plate of cocktail sausages and microwaved them ALL BY HERSELF (I just heard the microwave beeping as she tootled past with steaming sausages.
Took a bottle opener from the drawer and stabbed holes in the wall when denied an ice lolly.
Pretended to be a dog in Hyde Park, fetching a stick in her teeth when Brooke threw it.

Did a really good job of falling over at the Science Museum which I happened to catch on video. I am hoping it may be vaguely funny enough to send to You've Been Framed for £250.

On the song front, both girls are frequently requesting "My Favourite Things" from The Sound Of Music for a bedtime song. I am going to rent the DVD from the library so I won't mind quite so much when Taya uses it as a coaster in between viewings.

Finally, and on a total tangent, can someone please explain to me how we know subscribers in Google Reader are different to the people who are followers on Blogger? I have the same number on both so remain unconvinced. I need names! People I can actually stalk back!

Squares cushion v2

2011-07-25T20:48:00.002+01:00

In the weeks without broadband, I have at least focused some attention on my crochet. I finished a second cushion for a friend. This time the colour scheme was a little more planned out so I’m happier on that front. It looks less wonky than the other one too.

I’m afraid I am terribly lazy and stitch right the way around rather than putting in a zipper to get the cushion out for when the cover needs a wash. In my defence the cushion pads are washable though!

I have two cushion pads left, and think I might actually make covers for myself next time. Will leave that one for a while though to ponder the new colour schemes! Our living room is white so anything should work I guess.

I have finally embarked on the scarf I promised my friend ages ago. I already made one for her daughter, the granny stripes one, and am doing the same pattern for her with different colours and a smaller hook.

After that I want to make some potholders both for myself and for my elderly neighbour from my old place. He was friends with my parents when they lived there, so now he has known 3 generations of my family in that building. He spent Christmas with us too last year, I feel really fond of him. Anyway, last time I was round at his, I noticed he had a really lovely but worn potholder. When I commented on it he said his mother used to crochet, and would I like her old book “200 square motifs to crochet”. Well you can imagine my reply, since I was already borrowing my friend Liz’s copy. So in return I want to make him some new potholders. Have already marked some ideas on Pinterest. Speaking of which, any fellow crocheters want to hook up on there to share inspiration?

I'd like to find a pattern for one a bit like this or similar.

Source: crochet.about.com via Kerry on Pinterest

I'm back!

2011-07-23T20:16:00.001+01:00

I’m writing this on the 17^th July. Hopefully we should have broadband up and running on Friday 22^nd. Lord knows I hope this is the last week of my life without having the internet at home! Browsing on my iphone is not really a good substitute when the signal is patchy. I love the internet so much, it bamboozles me slightly to think that the girls will grow up taking it for granted, when it has changed my life so much. Grocery shopping with no car and 2 toddlers? Hello Tesco.com. Want to know who that dude in 24 is, you’re sure you recognise him… step up IMDB.com. Well you know how it goes, you’re here after all. Anyway, I am rambling already.

So we moved house. That was HARD WORK. Poor Chris did most of the lugging, I did the bulk of the packing and unpacking. In the process I found the blue click clack track car which has been missing since Christmas. Obviously it turned up in the box of Christmas decorations! On the flipside I have since lost the magic wand to Taya’s Ben & Holly’s Little Kingdom castle. Can’t find it anywhere but there are still some boxes it could be lurking in. The new flat is fabulous. We have more than double the space we had before, and heaps more storage which is great. We have a small decked terrace at the back and access to a residents garden in the square. This includes a playground and is securely fenced all around – bliss! We have had our dinner in there a couple of times and the girls enjoyed the annual kids party with bouncy castle, face painting, inflatable slide etc. There is also a composter which I am making use of.


The girls in the communal garden

Since we moved the girls have both progressed to bigger beds. I bought a wonderful mid-sleeper from a friend which includes yet more storage underneath and a hidey-hole which had to become a den for the girls. I will take some photos when I've got it all looking lovely. Taya has moved into Brooke’s old bed. Now although she could climb out of her cot before, it seems that having no bars at all has given her the impression she is free to roam around their room to her hearts’ delight. I beg to differ. Consequently we have had many nights recently where the girls have spent up to two hours getting out of bed, turning on the light and raiding the bookcase, taking off all their clothes and putting on swimming costumes, putting stickers up in the den and generally making merry. I don’t mind them doing these things per se, but it’s the inferred finger up at me and anything I say which is making me tear my hair out somewhat! In fact, there is currently a lot of time spent with them ignoring me, and me saying the same instructions over and over. It is infuriating. Tonight we have taken the light bulb out and told them they have broken the light.

They still have their cute moments though luckily. Never more so than when we got them their first bikes! We picked them up at the aforementioned kids’ party, real bargains. Brooke got a Barbie Fairytopia one with sound effect buttons, and Taya got a B’Twin kitty one with a squeaky kitty head. We filmed the girls uncovering them in the hallway, Brooke saying “Yay!” and Taya shouting “My got a bike!” It was one of those golden moments. (note to a particular couple of friends - they will not be riding them in the flat!)

I have not lived up to my word on no dummies in the new flat. It seemed ludicrous to implement it at a time of such change. Instead we had a session of throwing all but one dummy each into the bin. Taya went ballistic! Then I pierced tiny holes in the remaining dummies which are slowly getting bigger. I am hoping they will soon be so unsatisfying that the girls will give them up of their own accord. Hark at me! That’ll be the day!

Even though we only moved half a mile from our old place, the walk to nursery ended up being a bit of a slog. I can do it on my own in 15 minutes, but if you add in one buggy (with slightly wonky wheels now) and a reluctant three year old it is more like 25 minutes. Brooke’s brilliant nursery staff have subsequently allowed her to do 3 full days a week so I can drop her off and head home without having to head back 45 minutes later. And in an even bigger move, she has been offered a full time place from September! I’m not sure how she’s going to feel about that, but ultimately it will enable me to go back to work sooner and I guess she’s going to have to get used to it ahead of starting school next year anyway.

So yes, after all the months of pleading to go to nursery, Brooke is now in the midst of an "I don't want to go to nursery!" phase. It starts in the morning, asking whether or not she's going that day, and if she doesn't like the answer she launches into an all-out attack to persuade me to change things. Lots of fake crying and perpetually repeating "But I don't want to go to nursery! I don't want to do a whole day!". It's quite draining! Anyway, on Wednesday I tried to sweeten the deal somewhat by tying in her moaning with my lack of breakfast. "How about if we go to McDonalds on the way?" I cajoled. She paused and looked at me through soggy eyes. "Is it a farm?" "No it's a kind of cafe" (I hugged her to me as I said this, silently laughing behind her head) She looked excited and turned to Taya. "Taya! We're going to Old McDonalds!" I love these moments when she reminds me that she's just a three year old. It's a bit too easy to forget when she's misbehaving.

Some other things summed up in photos:


Our hall lends itself very nicely to skittles

Dressing up cuteness

Loving their friend Jeanne

Fathers Day at the Marylebone fair


Enjoying churros at the Spanish cafe.

Oh hello broadband. I have missed you so! Off to catch up on other blogs now!

2011-06-28T17:04:00.000+01:00

Never attempt to potty train a child with an upset tummy.

Still here!

2011-06-22T14:05:00.000+01:00

Just a quick one as I'm in the local library using their internet facilities whilst Taya is asleep in the buggy and Brooke is at nursery. But we have MOVED! It's Fabulous, I love the new flat so much. Still got lots of work to do in terms of unpacking and sorting stuff out but we are getting there. Needless to say the girls made their own mark on the whole experience, best of all was their first night in their new beds. I put them to bed and could hear giggling for a while. I left them to it until I saw the bedroom light was on. I went in to discover both of them stripped naked, newly unpacked clothes everywhere and when questioned as to what they were doing? "We're playing dressing up Mummy!" On the whole they have been very good though considering they have had to watch a lot of DVDs whilst I get stuff done (though Taya has skated across the wooden floor on a couple of DVDs rendering them useless with scratches) and we have no TV service yet.

Other than that, I am trying to sort out energy suppliers, tv, broadband and home phone (a month's wait - agony!) as well as all the usual daily stuff. There's been no time for any crochet and I'm really missing it. Might abandon unpacking this evening to finish a project that's a present for a friend.
Anyway, am still here and trying to read the odd update on my phone when I can get a signal and a moment's peace, hope I've not been forgotten!

A little update.

2011-06-07T14:48:00.000+01:00

The girls have been really funny lately. Cheeky too, but making me laugh which tends to undo some of the naughty times.

For example a car was crashed into at the top of the road. When Brooke saw it she asked me what had happened. I told her "Well a van was turning the corner there but he was going too fast so he missed the turning and he had to reverse, and when he did that he took the side of that car off."
"How sad." She replied, very King Thistle-like, "How terribly sad"

If you have ever seen Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom then just imagine Brooke saying that like King Thistle from the episode where the witch freezes Nanny Plum for being rude, and Holly is telling King Thistle who is quite unmoved until Holly stresses there will be no more lovely dinners. But in a totally earnest and sincere way.

And today after dropping Brooke off at nursery Taya and I went to the post office of doom. Honestly it's like waiting to get into hell or something. The most depressing, badly run and misery-inducing place I can think of within a 1 mile radius. I would really rather go and sit in the central reservation of the Westway, but the other usual, nicer post office was just not on my route today and I was being a bit lazy. Anyway, off to the post office of doom we went, with Taya being slightly lunatic and shouty. She shouted her version of the Balamory theme song throughout the queue and when she threw her dummy on the floor she did a fantastic impression of Swiper from Dora The Explorer's "Oh maaannn!" After we'd finished posting our parcels she turned to me and said "Bit sleepy Mummy". I said "Okay, have a little rest then" and within seconds she was gone. I'd post a photo but the iphone usb cable has either been packed or stolen.

She did this yesterday too, after I took her swimming in an effort to wear her out. This is all in an attempt to combat her resistance to bedtime, her night time wakings and early morning start. Anyway she LOVES swimming now. We have figured out what works and what she likes to do and now it is enjoyable for both of us. She wears armbands and I leave her to it! She is totally fearless and jumps in from the side, goes underwater quite happily and has now started listening to basic instructions like "Kick your legs" and "Push the water away with your hands", so she does a little kind of doggy paddle as she can't do both movements at the same time yet. We can do about 30 minutes now until she is shivering so much I have to take her out. Blurry pic of her in her sunsuit.

Not much else to report at the moment. 75% of the flat is packed up and ready to move. I am trying to keep a lid on my excitement because I am impatient by nature and moving house is not something you can hurry. The best thing about packing so far has been finding the blue click clack track car which has been missing since Christmas (it was a Christmas present). Obviously it was in the box of Christmas decorations. I think finding lost things is immeasurably pleasing. But I am quite a sad sort of person!

Push Harder!

2011-05-31T13:37:00.000+01:00

The girls have their cousin Alyssa here at the moment and I just walked in to find Alyssa delivering Brooke's baby on the sofa. "Push!" she was saying. "Push harder, like you're doing a poo!"
Well at least they're playing accurately I suppose, though that was where the accuracy ended as the baby was born and Alyssa declared she was taking it away to clean it up. When she brought the doll back Brooke declared "It looks worse" and Alyssa swapped it for another doll. "It looks worser"
Oh dear!

Here they all are complete with babies in their tummies:

The Tangled Tangle Teezer Hairbrush

2011-05-29T17:19:00.000+01:00

A boy gave me a mix tape once. (Do amorous kids still make mix tapes? Probably not, which is a shame because the flirty sleeve notes could say a lot more than an emailed MP3 ever could) On one side of the tape he wrote "Wasted life is not a loss" and on the other it said "Pay the bill don't count the cost".
Well I've no idea if he made it up or it was a song lyric, but whilst I couldn't agree with the side one sentiment, there is something catchy (and rhythmic) about the second part which has stayed with me all these years. Sometimes you do just have to pay the bill and not think about it too much. And this was the case two days ago when I popped into Boots and spotted the Tangled branded Tangle Teezer flowerpot hairbrush. I'm not sure what it's got to do with Tangled other than having a picture from the film on the box, and I haven't seen the film so maybe flowerpots play a big part in it? Here it is, demonstrating how you can store your hairbands in the pot.

I might have mentioned before the daily battle I have with Brooke over getting her hair brushed. So I felt I had nothing left to lose so I took it up to the counter. The guy at the checkout had a little trouble finding the barcode, but when he finally scanned it and the price flashed up, he looked at me and said "Err, is that okay?!"
I reassured him that I would never normally pay £13 for a hairbrush but that things were getting desperate. He smiled back in a vaguely pitying way.
Anyway, the next morning I presented it to her Royal Birdsnest Head and you know what? Best £13 I ever spent. She brushes her hair night and day. She sleeps with it! She took it to church! When she is misbehaving I simply have to threaten to take the hairbrush away and Princess Brooke of the Wonderful Attitude returns. Glory Be!
I should point out that I haven't been asked to review this, goodness knows I haven't reached the heady heights of being sent things to review on my blog, but I did have to share this wonder-product! However Tangle Teezer people if you are reading this, £13 is a bit steep! Here's the link to it on the Boots website for anyone interested.

Kreativ Blogger Award

2011-05-27T14:46:00.000+01:00

Woop! Lovely Heather at Little Tin Bird has passed an award onto me:

Thanks Heather! Now I have to reveal ten facts about myself and pass it on.

1) I also am not pregnant. I did do a pregnancy test recently as I was concerned about my appetite but the result that came back just said GREEDY PIG.

2) I have recently got into Glee and just watched the entire first season pretty quickly. I love getting into things late and then having huge hours of a show to indulge in at once.

3) I used to write to famous people when I was younger. I had replies (both friendly and standard) from a variety of people. I asked the Queen if she used Impulse. I could just about die thinking of it now!

4) When I was about 4 and my family was holidaying in Brixham I escaped out of a window and climbed along the parapet of the roof. Apparently no one ever saw my Dad move so fast in all his life.

5) I write letters to my daughters in books which I'll give them when they're older.

6) I try to write down complete lists of who gave them what for all their birthdays and Christmases, again in their own books. But I'm horribly behind and I can't find the scrap of paper with last Christmas on.

7) I have receding gums which brought home the meaning of "long in the tooth" to me. Now I feel old, even though I often wonder who allowed me to become 35 and part of the grown ups club even though I still dress and feel (and act sometimes) like a 17 year old.

8) I really do dress like a teenager. My sister always comments whenever I stray from my jeans and converse ensemble. "It's nice to see you in a skirt!" But I don't like my legs so it doesn't happen that often.

9) Back in 2006, Cuckoo, Gem and I went camping in Padstow. We met a guy called Nobby in a pub who bought us lots of drinks, then on the way back to the tent we gatecrashed Gary the Lifeguard's 40th birthday party. He said we could have some cake but I think we ate most of it and then left with some profiteroles which we *may* have thrown at each other. Back at the campsite I was so drunk Cuckoo had to help me be sick. ((Grandma if you're reading this I'm really sorry.)) This is us on that jaunt:

Cuckoo, Me, Gem


Gem, Cuckoo, Me on the night in question

10) After about 3 years together with Chris I gave him an ultimatum of living with me or splitting up. Sensibly he sacrificed his bachelor lifestyle and we moved in together. After about 3 months he said he didn't know why we hadn't done it sooner. Thankfully I didn't have to threaten him for us to get married and we didn't find out I was pregnant until after we'd made the arrangements.
Okay then, to pass this on.

Thanks again Heather!

Some completed crochet AT LAST!

2011-05-24T22:03:00.001+01:00

As I mentioned last time, I was able to complete some crochet projects in Scotland. First up was my squares cushion cover. Thanks so much to Heather for the pattern. I loved making this, the straight-forward pattern is really rhythmic and relaxing. Didn't take too much concentration and fulfils one of my main criteria for enjoyable crocheting - it doesn't have to fit anyone. Well apart from the cushion of course. Now a quick question for you pros out there - do you stitch up all the way round, or fit a zipper or buttons so you can get the cushion out for washing?
Here it is anyway. I have to say I would definitely make a more considered choice about the colour scheme next time, as this time I was so eager to make it I just grabbed whatever yarn I could find, but I'm still happy with it. I like how it looks kind of off-kilter, like a psychedelic 3D picture (maybe that was where I made some mistakes, who knows?)

I also finished my granny stripe scarf for a friend's little girl. Loved this pattern too, apart from changing yarn so frequently and weaving in all the ends. Was really pleased with the colours but sadly can't take any credit as my friend picked them out!

I'm making another different scarf for the same friend but am having trouble with the stripes. She also wants horizontal stripes, in some quite bold colours, and every time I start it I'm just thrown by the horribly visible join on the wrong side. It's a scarf so it can't have a wrong side! Any tips for seamless joins of different colours?

Lastly on the subject of crochet, I borrowed a book from another friend and have fallen in love with this beauty:

Isn't it lovely? Looks super easy too (apart from the part where it says "Make 423 squares") and I'm in love with that colour scheme. It's Rooster Almerino though, and at £4.45 per 50g ball, with all the balls required for 423 squares, it's just not going to happen. Having said that, another friend is in Peru and has texted to say he's got me some Baby Alpaca wool in Bagpuss colours! Maybe I will make a really, really small version of that blanket after all!

Now, what shall I make next? :)

PS - Am I the only crocheter in the world without Mollie Makes magazine? I haven't seen it in any shops yet everyone is blogging about it!

Time away

2011-05-18T14:19:00.000+01:00

On Friday morning we set off for Scotland with our good friends Jamie and Carol. We had the privilige of staying at Medwyn Head for 3 nights whilst the girls stayed home with a variety of fabulous babysitters. Medwyn Head is a beautiful cottage, very remote with no electricity and wonderful views. Sheep grazed on the backdoor step and lambs licked the glass door while I took pictures. I saw a deer, countless pheasants, kestrels and piglets too. It was pretty cold so we had roaring log fires, shimmering candlelight and divine food. I was left alone for 24 hours whilst the other 3 nutters did the Caledonian Etape, an 81 mile bike ride. Congratulations to them all for completing it, especially Jamie with a broken bike and duffed up ribs after crashing with a motorbike! When was the last time you had 24 hours in total solitude? It felt funny for about 5 minutes and then I settled into it, that bliss of doing whatever you want, whenever you want. I did a 500 piece jigsaw puzzle, read a few pages of my book (The Crimson Petal and The White, prompted by the fantastic version on tv recently) and went on a crochet-a-thon! Total indulgence, I loved it. Oh and a few episodes of Glee on my iphone! I finished my cushion cover, worked a lot on a scarf, started another scarf and also practiced some new granny squares for another blanket. Oh and started on the roses for my flowers throw, but have a small niggle with the pattern so need to get my head around that. 6 hour car journeys? No problem, have crochet, will travel! Good job I don't get car sick.

We got back late Monday night. The girls greeted me pretty casually but Chris got a big "DADDY!" from Taya! She is growing so quickly at the moment so here is a picture of her today.

Moving!

2011-05-10T14:04:00.000+01:00

I've found it hard to write recently. I've had lots of other stuff to do or that I am meant to be doing and also just in a bit of a funk, and I didn't really want to post a lot of whining nonsense. Anyway, I am in a much happier frame of mind today so here I am.

The reason I am feeling so upbeat and positive is because we are going to move flat! I am so excited. I have been feeling really fed up with the long slog up the stairs with the buggy and the girls for quite a while now and we have definitely outgrown the flat itself, having arrived as a couple and leaving with two girls. Where we are moving has just a few steps down rather than the 37 up we have at the moment. There is more space, room for both girls to have a bed (Taya is still in a cot), outside space, storage space (STORAGE SPACE!). I could go on. Suffice to say this is a big deal for us and the prospect of being there is helping me face the daunting task of packing up our current place. Our current flat holds a lot of family history though, being the place where I lived until I was 7, and the place where both my sister and I have raised our children for the first few years. I will have to take a lot of photos before I leave to capture all the details. We are due to move in about 5 weeks so I'm going to be busy for a while. Needless to say there is going to be a HUGE clearout.

I must also say that the reason we are moving is due to some amazing friends whose flat it is we are moving to. I feel I need to find bigger and better ways of saying thank you as people keep exceeding my expectations. Sometimes just saying it doesn't feel adequate. Am feeling very lucky. Also on the lucky front - Brooke's nursery have said she can go full time the week we move! That will bring a welcome bit of breathing space.

Speaking of breathing space, I've been quite blessed again this week. On Sunday night me and Chris went to stay at the Radisson Edwardian Vanderbilt hotel in Kensington. Chris got a press invite through his other business The Arbuturian so we had a free 3 course meal, wine, room and breakfast. It was lovely and relaxing to have a meal that neither of us had cooked or had to clean up after, and to be away from home and all the things I feel I should be doing when I'm there. And then on Friday we're heading up to Scotland for 3 nights! Chris is doing a lunatic bike ride with some friends of ours who have a cottage up there. Remote, no electricity... sounds like the perfect excuse for some crochet and reading, yes?

Oh and I finally found 10 minutes to make a banner and change my blog design. Does it look okay?

How's things?

2011-04-19T14:38:00.000+01:00

How am I? Well I'm fine, you know we're all healthy and the girls are growing and learning all the time and we're not facing a life on the streets or anything like that. Actually I am quite happy when immersed in my crochet and I love looking at photos of the girls, using the wonderful Camera+ app to tweak them a little bit. Well that's all true but there's another answer lurking inside of me which says that actually I am going slightly mad and struggling to find healthy ways of dealing with challenging behaviour.

"What's that Mummy?"
"It's a truck"
"No it's not it's a van. Silly Mummy"

"Is it raining today Mummy?"
"No, it's a lovely sunny day?"
"Why?"
"Because it's not raining, it's lovely and sunny and warm!"
"Why?"

"Is that a door? Why is it closed/open?"

"I didn't WANT pasta for my dinner! I SAID no cheese on it! Yuk"

"I don't WANT to go home! It's not fair! Why can't we stay at the playground? I don't WANT any dinner! I want an ice cream. NO from the SHOP, not at home. It's not fair. You are not my friend. I love Daddy, I want Daddy."

Brushing hair, brushing teeth, getting dressed, eating, washing, tidying up, not fighting with Taya, whether or not she's already had a vitamin tablet that day, going up the stairs, walking home, having snacks. These are the regular daily battles. I know people say to pick your battles but I'm not sure which of those I want to back down on. I don't know if kids can overdose on vitamin tablets, can they?
The trouble isn't that she behaves this way, per se. It's that I need better ways of dealing with it other than raising my voice and my eyebrows and quietly muttering to myself amid threats of the naughty corner. Ideas? Wine? Anyone?

Anyway, let's look on the bright side. I realised this week that alongside costing parents a fortune in nappies, clothes (not strictly true as 90% of ours have been donated), and mostly food to be thrown on the floor or in the bin, kids can actually make us better off too. Just this week, I earned 3 erroneous Tesco Clubcard Green Points when Taya did a charming little boy holding the cartons of juice routine, which the guy on the checkout apparently couldn't resist.
"I've given you some extra points, all because of him" he told me with a smile I would once, 4 years ago, have considered flirtatious. Now I figured he just thinks I need all the help I can get. I should write to Tesco and tell them this employee is really living up to their Every Little Helps motto.

Other things at the moment:
At every nappy change, Taya tells me very adamantly she's done the opposite of what is actually in her nappy. She has also picked up from Brooke the excellent "NOT FAIR!" catchphrase and employs it regularly.
Taya's favourite thing to watch would still be Monsters Inc if she hadn't broken the disc with overuse and mucky marks. Brooke wants to watch Aqua's Barbie Girl video on repeat on YouTube.
Taya has started to say "My do it" and "This... called?" (You tell her and she repeats it and says "Ah" in a wise and knowing way.)
Taya also says "Miss... you" in a most endearing way.
Usual wake up time is 6.45. Bedtime at 7.15ish is fought by Taya shouting loudly whilst Brooke sparks out from her busy days at nursery.


Doesn't everyone wear mouse earmuffs to eat pancakes?

Updated Overused Expressions

2011-04-13T14:24:00.000+01:00

Following on from my previous post about things which I say all the live long day, I've realised that these have changed. "Hang on" is still right up there, but the following have rocketed up the charts recently.

"Yes?" As in, Taya is standing on my feet repeatedly saying "Mama? Mama? Mama?" I say "Yes?" and she says... "Mama?"
"What did I JUST say?" This is endemic of the not-listening phase which Brooke in particular is going through. I'll say "Can you pick up that toy / book / fork before you fall over it please?" and she'll ignore me and then fall over it and cry and my sympathy button is horribly bypassed by the frustration of not having been listened to in the first place and I'll instead retort with this.
"Leave it alone!" All the time, everywhere, from half dead insects on the floor to dropped pieces of dried fruit, to my crochet, to the other girl's toy which the other girl is indeed playing with, to the dials of the washing machine (Taya has previously sent tumble dried clothes off for a second wash this way) and the buttons of the dishwasher, to the chewing gum stuck on the train window.
"Yes. I mean it. I'm not going to argue with you about it. Come on" I'm sure Supernanny would have a field day with me and all the ways I'm doing this parenting business all wrong, but when I'm told "No" to requests for teeth brushing, hair brushing, getting dressed, getting undressed, getting in the bath, getting out of the bath, leaving the house, leaving the playground etc etc I'm just not one for engaging the girls in playful co-operation games, I want them to make like Nike and JUST DO IT.

Maybe this isn't the best day to be posting this as I'm currently in the middle of a "I'm crap at this, I'm doing it all wrong. They're going to grow up to be psychotic because of me" phase. Brooke told me earlier "You're not my friend Mummy. Okay you are but I love Daddy the best".
I need to be more patient. I need to not shout so easily. I need to let more things go. But what you actually feel and what you know you should feel are sometimes poles apart.

One Man's Trash

2011-03-29T21:46:00.000+01:00

I love going to charity shops. I love that moment of browsing through the rails and suddenly going "Ooooh THAT'S nice", especially coupled with the realisation that I'm looking at paying a fraction of the regular retail price. Yes, I am Ms Thrifty. Recently I've had a glut of total treasure finds and the shopping show-off in me just wants to parade them a little bit.

Usually I am ALL about girls' clothes, but this colourful teapot winked at me. Oxfam £2.99

Bread and Jam dress, Oxfam £2.99. This is just gorgeous, looks like it's never been worn and has awoken a new adoration in me. Utterly divine dresses.

Boden trousers, Cancer Research £1.99

Polarn O Pyret dress, Oxfam £1.99

Boden trousers (check out the pear print detail, lush), Cancer Research £1.00

Converse style trainers, no idea where from originally, Oxfam £1.99

Bonpoint smock top. The softest cord fabric I've ever felt. Oxfam, £1.99

Zara Kids shirt, Oxfam £1.99. Brooke looked cute in this today.

Okay, this seems to me to be a handmade quilted baby sleeping bag in cute Hello Kitty fabric. I don't even have a baby to fit in this anymore but guessing that someone lovingly made this, I, hand on heart, couldn't leave it in Cancer Research for £1.99. It will make a lovely present for a like minded soul I think.

All About My Gay Wife

2011-03-29T14:39:00.000+01:00

Well kind of, I only have a limited time slot until Taya wakes up.

First of all, thank you to my dearest Cuckoo friend for passing along the Liebster Award to me. I don't feel very worthy, I had to delete my last whingefest post and have a paltry (yet LOVELY) three followers since moving to Blogger, whilst she is the rising star of crochetbakingblogland. However, I'll take these things where I can get 'em and say thank you very much my lovely.

So the rules say I have to pass this onto 5 other blogs which I love, and tell them I'm doing so. Here are my choices:

All you have to do is thank the person who gave you it and link back to them, then choose your 5 blogs to pass it on to and leave them a message to say you've given them the liebster award. Join in if you fancy it but don't feel obliged!

But that's not all. I had a weekend at my Mum's and was able to sneak off for lunch with Cuckoo herself and gorgeous Mini Cuckoo. I even got to give him his bottle, and he snorted and pulled funny faces at me. Magic.

And as if that wasn't a treat enough, I was also given a much coveted hand made crochet hook roll as my birthday present. (I'm itching to break out the exclamation marks here). The clever girl first showcased them on her blog (I can't find the entry) and I voiced my envy then. Lo and behold I have been gifted with one which perfectly matches my crochet bag du jour, thank you Cath Kidston. But more importantly, thank you Cuckoo. I adore the prints and am in awe of the tidy stitch work. This is going to be much used, I can tell you. Look at it;

How gorgeous?
I've been quite busy making daisy squares for my flower blanket. It says to make 49 in the pattern, then 50 rose squares, but we have a super king size bed which I am envisioning the blanket living on, so I think I might make it much bigger. Besides which I am just really enjoying making the squares. I found some cheap Cygnet wool in lovely colours in a charity shop in my Mum's home town, and have since found more on ebay. The temptation is strong. Here are the squares a few days ago:

Sometimes Johnny, you can't win no matter whatcha do.

2011-03-21T20:58:00.000Z

Hello Blogger, let's see how this works out for us then, since my lovely Gay Wife has been so kind as to copy all my posts over from Typepad. Oh and I should mention that I am trying to give up exclamation marks. Sort of for Lent, but also possibly for EVER because I use too many. Smileys have been banished from my fingertips too. Now I have to convey what I mean with real, actual words. You'll never stop me capitalising though.

Today I dropped Brooke off at nursery (she now does full days on Mondays) and the receptionist asked what I had planned. Since she hadn't guessed from my total lack of make up and scraped back hair, I told her I was taking Taya swimming. I took B when she was small, but when Taya came along... well I'm not so masochistic as to try taking 2 under 2s. Also there is a ladies and toddlers session on Monday mornings so it seemed ideal. When I said where we were going, Taya actually made two fists and raised them up in a kind of mute victory cheer. She honestly looked pretty excited. When we got to the leisure centre she said "boff bay?" hopefully, so I said "No, swimming today". We got changed and headed off to the pool. We then spent the next 20 minutes thus:

Me - holding 23 month old child in water which is deeper than she is tall.
Taya - "No Mama, no mama, no mama" (trying to pull the mole off my collarbone. As in discoloured spot of skin rather than blind, nocturnal mammal)
Me - "Do you want to get out?"
Taya - "No, no, no, no mama" (getting louder and more forceful each time, batting away my hands)
Me - "You want me to let go of you?"
Taya - nodding like a shire horse
Me - Okay then, see what you think of this. (Thinking, "NOW she'll want to hang onto me")
Taya - Thrashing, blinking, gulping pool water before I lifted her out again

And repeat. She just wanted to do it by herself, naturally.

Well eventually I decided enough was enough so we headed back to the changing rooms. She cried loudly the whole time I was getting her dressed, and whilst getting myself dressed, though she did pause to try to unlock the cubicle door the moment I was butt naked. OF COURSE. I tried to pacify her with the snack du jour, yogurt coated fruit flakes, but still she cried. Finally she stopped and tearfully looked at me to say "Boff bay?" once again. Defeated, we went to soft play instead.

"Great" I thought, "I can chill out and play on my phone while she throws herself around in the ball pit. I just need to take her dummy off her in case the saver catches on the nets and she throttles herself."

Well here's what happened next.

Yup, full on paddywhack. She threw herself on the floor, head thumping down last and opened her lungs. And it continued until I conceded to give her the dummy minus the saver, and go up the bloody jungle gym with her.

Speaking of dummies, I've been trying to wean Brooke off hers, which she only has at night time. To my horror, the dentist informed me that B has an overbite, and I say that as someone who also had one and who endured a plate brace, train tracks and rubber bands around my head to correct it. So we are trying really hard to get rid of Brooke's. Most nights now she will go to bed without it, but when she wakes up for the potty she won't settle back down without it, and with the girls sharing a room, it inevitably wakes Taya up and then I have two crying children to contend with. So I am weak, and give it to her. We have been reading The Little Princess: I Want My Dummy and Jill Murphy's The Last Noo Noo. Buit tonight she wouldn't even settle without it at all. The promised present of a Barbie and Horse has been hidden under my bed for about a week now with the idea being that the dummy fairy will deliver it once she goes a whole night without it. Watch this space perhaps?

She's going to take over the world this one

2011-03-19T07:20:00.002Z

I know I've written a lot about Brooke lately, but I haven't forgotten Taya. In fact I've been thinking for a while about all the funny little things she's said and done and how I must write them down.
First of all, she can be the muckiest little person in the world. It has been said that she has a very tactile relationship with food. Indeed, she does like to feel a chocolate mousse in her hair before she eats it. Toasted brioche with chocolate spread (best snack in the world ever, by the way)? "Hang on while I just lay the smackdown on it with my hand Mum. " Sometimes she puts breadsticks on her head, and just sits there. Checking out the weight of it perhaps, or indulging in a strange meditation not heard of before on Earth.

The mess doesn't end with food though. Paint is one of Taya's favourite mediums for expressing herself. It is a good job we don't live in a fancy flat because when this sort of thing happens I am able to say "what the hell" and give everything and everyone a quick wipe down. This first picture is also brilliant because of her pose. She's saying "Wot? Wotcha gonna do about it Mum?" isn't she?

It doesn't end there though. If there is a basket, a bag or any kind of container with things in it, Taya will empty it. If there is a neat stack of DVDs, it will be knocked over. Things are undone, upended, chaosed (I made it up, it's the opposite of organised) and destructed when Taya is around. Then comes the killer move. Just as you're annoyed with her for creating another job to add to the list, she'll turn on the cute and crank it up to 11. I am almost powerless against this strategy. The smile with her face all scrunched up, the rounded cheeks, the head turned onto one side... she's like a puppy begging for food. Who can resist?

It's pointless fighting Taya anyway, because she'll probably win. Her upper body strength is phenomenal. She does pull ups, arm-bars, heaves herself into the bath by putting her arms over the side and propelling herself forwards (there was one occasion where I found her almost face first in the bath, propped up on her hands like she was in a cartwheel race, with her legs stretched out balanced on the side behind her. Such was her eagerness to get in the bath. She LOVES the bath. ), she moves the chairs around the kitchen to access the fridge and counter tops (yes I did once find her holding my biggest, sharpest knife as if she was about to start preparing dinner. ARGH), she can climb out of her cot... you get the idea I hope. She's an unstoppable force. She's already potty training (fairly successfully for her age, I have to say) and her vocabulary is expanding every day. But she's smart to boot. Walking along a familar street yesterday, she looked up at me from the buggy and said "Boff bay?" Yes, we were indeed heading to soft play. And there, you should see her powering up the cushioned steps, running over the nets, throwing herself over edges and pushing swinging weights out of her way before reaching the big slide. I saw her there, trying to push a bigger boy down so she could take her turn and then climbing in with gay abandon, spinning around onto her tummy and beaming and waving at me as she slid away from me and into the ballpit.
It's funny then, how separation anxiety has been an issue for her which I never experienced with Brooke. Maybe it's a difference of bottle vs breastfeeding, who can say? But she still seeks out my bare chest to lay her head on when she wakes in the night for a cuddle. She pushes my hair away in disdain before she nestles into me, sometimes hanging onto me in such a way that makes me feel loved like never before. At a parents meeting this morning I could hear her crying in the creche until they eventually brought her into me all snotty and face wet with tears. Funny little sausage.
She has a fantastic sense of humour too, for one so young. A few weeks ago both girls were up and out of bed around 10pm after waking up crying. I sat with them on the sofa nestled under a blanket. Chris asked Brooke if she needed anything at which point Taya barked out "Toast". Chris and I looked at each other and laughed. At which point she followed up with "Marmite". Okay then. She's stuck her finger up her nose before now and chased Brooke with said finger outstretched. She thinks the opening scene of Monsters Inc is hilarious. (In fact she has just woken up from her nap asking to watch it again "Moh Ig?") She loves watching TV, adores babies (beebies), can't get enough dummies and likes to look at Maisy books every night. Her favourite nursery rhymes are Three Blind Mice, Row Row Your Boat and Pop Goes The Weasel . Most used words are

More
Peas (please)
Cake
Duh-eys (dummies)
Snack
Cuggle (cuddle)

Plus she's joining in everything now, baking, dressing up, games of hide and seek. Just you watch, she's going to be in charge of something one day.

The Brooke performances

2011-03-19T07:13:00.002Z

I mentioned yesterday that Brooke likes to sing. She sings quite a lot. Walking along, getting dressed, in the bath, at mealtimes, at the playground. These are all singing times. She doesn't always get the lyrics right and still can't get the "L" sound, hence Trinkle Trinkle Yittle Star and If You're Happy and You Know It Crap Your Hands. Voila.
"It doesn't a-matter at all"

"I come from Banjo-Me"

More Banjo Me.

Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes. Not strictly accurate.

The Brooke show

2011-03-19T07:12:00.001Z

"Ta da!"
"Look at this!"
"Watch me!"
"Did you see me do that?"
"Look at me!"
I read in a book that toddlers would like to have our attention 24 hours a day if they could. Like? LIKE? Demand is more like it. I am instructed to watch as Brooke stands on one leg, jumps on the sofa, bounces on the bed, stands on her hands and one leg with one leg pointing backwards and so on and so on. AND SO ON. There is also a lot of singing, by which I mean near constant. But that is a whole other post really. "That's lovely darling. Wonderful. Aren't you clever!"
Speaking of books, I am getting rid of all my parenting books. I have come to the conclusion that they can teach me nothing. I'm not saying I know it all; far, far from it! But, the way I see it is that kids do stuff which doesn't quite conform with our prefered ways, i.e they refuse to eat, refuse to sleep, hit, kick, bite, scratch, scream and go rigid with upright arms when you try to pick them up, and actually books can't help me at all, unless buying them means they will dispatch someone to take over for 16 years. It is simply a matter of finding one's coping mechanism in the meantime, be it wine, cakes and cookies or, in my case along with the former, total immersion into personal hobbies with a little bit of shouting and lots of cursing under my breath. It's all a phase, right?
Anyway, the Brooke show is fine, and I am grateful that I am not directed to sit down each time there is a performance (sorry Liz!). In fact more than that, I am grateful that there is a Brooke show at all. Writing stuff like this out often puts it in perspective.
For posterity then, here are some more things about Brooke at the moment.
Currently saying she doesn't want to go to nursery, but is fine when we get there. Friends with Liam (Yiam), Callum (Carrum) and has a new friend called Bella (Berra). Loves the pet tortoises, snails and fish.
Only eats fish fingers, chicken nuggets, pasta, toasted brioche with chocolate spread, fruit, jacket potatoes (even mashed potato is eyed up suspiciously), tuna and anything that is called a snack, plus chocolate.
Loves all things princessy (hello dressing up frocks!) and pirates.
Favourite books are The Elephant and the Bad Baby, Captain Pugwash and still loves The Tiger Who Came To Tea and Avocado Baby.
Favourite films are The Incredibles, Cinderella, Snow White etc.
Is quite good at counting and recognising the letters B, T, M, G, D
Likes painting, sticking, play doh and baking.

Brooke the photographer

2011-03-19T07:11:00.004Z

We got Brooke a camera for Christmas. An ELC digital one. Since she's often borrowing my iphone and taking 80 pictures of her teddies I thought she might enjoy having one of her own.
Tonight I uploaded her pictures, and here are the results, by way of Picnik.com

More crochet

2011-03-19T07:10:00.003Z

I've been really busy lately, what with seeing friends, getting involved in campaigning against local council budget cuts to Brooke's nursery and, well I'm not sure what else I've been doing but by and large, it's not been a case of sitting on my backside watching the world go by. Anyway, in amongst all these things, and sometimes during, I've been crocheting.

A while ago I finished Brooke's scarf. I was really happy with the stitch, the scalloped edging and the yarn, but the foundation chain was much tighter than the rest of the scarf, so as you can see it has curled up on itself. I took my friend Liz's advice about using a bigger crochet hook for the foundation chain in future. Brooke is happy with it anyway, so job done. I have learnt not to send her to nursery in it though, after one pick up when it couldn't be located for 10 minutes.

Well Brooke's keyworker at nursery liked the scarf, and it was her birthday, and she had no scarf so;

As you can see from the third picture, there is still some curling despite the bigger hook trick. Maybe I should have done foundation single crochet instead of a regular chain. Something to try next time.

Then I thought, why not finish that amigurumi cat that's had no face for months?

I had been holding out for stitch on eyes, with white background and black pupil, but John Lewis didn't have them and then I kind of forgot about them. I think the black stitched ones look nice though.

And since that's been done, how about that cardigan I started back in November, but abandoned because I thought I didn't have enough yarn for it? A little bit of rejigging and it turned out okay, although I still need to put a button at the collar and I'm thinking a pocket or applique bird on the front might complete it nicely. (sorry I don't know how to do an accent on the e)

Well now I can get back to my flowery blanket, and there is much more space in my bag thanks to all the unfinished bits being completed. Well there are still 2 pairs of gloves but I'll deal with them later.

On another note, this has taken me about an hour to type up. Our computer is about 7 years old and does not cope well with all these uploads. I know I am impatient but I still think we need a new one!

Back on the chain gang

2011-03-19T07:08:00.002Z

I'm crocheting again, after a break since Brooke's scarf and the unfinished cardigan which I ran out of yarn on. This time I'm making a flower blanket. It needs 50 daisy squares and 49 rose squares. So far I've done 4.5 daisy squares. Loving using lots of different colours. Made a mistake on one already but did a patch up job. It'll be fine. I think.

Ways in which I am perfect

2011-03-19T07:07:00.006Z

I know I'm not alone with mother's guilt syndrome. I often feel bad that the flat is never immaculate. In fact, it's rarely clean throughout. I want to do fun stuff ahead of tidying. I bought a new mop in November and haven't used it yet. I clean the toilet with wet wipes. I apologise when it's leftovers for dinner. I leave dishes on the side and dirty dishwater in the bowl. I make excuses as to why Brooke's hair isn't brushed and Taya has yogurt in her ear. I shout. Quite often. My patience is patchy at the best of times. I let the girls watch endless TV. I give them nudges in the back when they are quite literally under my feet then tell them off for doing it to each other. I let us run out of ketchup, bread and milk. I wear jeans and trainers every day. I skip whole pages in bedtime stories if I think it's going on too long. I tell everyone to hang on ALL the time. I only agree to about 10% of the cuddles Brooke asks for. I miss friends' birthdays, take weeks to send thank you notes, say I'll call people back then never do. I interject adult conversations with "GET DOWN FROM THERE NOW". I have high standards that I never meet. I am never quite enough.

Well today I thought "Bollocks to that" and decided I would also list the ways in which I AM perfect. Everyone gets fed, even if it is custard creams instead of fruit. I always have a cup of tea ready for friends who visit. Everyone has the chocolate spread and yogurt wiped off them at some point. Bottoms get wiped. Toys get vaguely stuffed into drawers and boxes. Bills get paid. Groceries get bought. Some birthdays do get remembered and cards get sent in time. Christmas cards get written and sent including to some people I've never met and only vaguely know. I made a scarf for Brooke and she told everyone at nursery how I crocheted it for her. I write down the funny things they say and all the presents they are given. The naughty corner always ends in cuddles. Everyone gets kissed goodnight. I tell the girls I love them daily.
So no thank you mother's guilt. You can be on your way now.

Catch up

2011-03-19T07:07:00.002Z

I haven't blogged for ages. Been very busy. Let's do everything in one word.
Christmas - Frenzied.
NYE - Understated.
January - Sniffly.
10 year anniversary break with husband - Restful.
Brooke - Maniacal.
Brooke going to nursery - Magnificent.
Taya - Chatty.
Girls' eating habits - Better.
State of the flat - Messy.
To do list in my head - Extensive.

Stand, sit and bend

2011-03-19T07:06:00.002Z

The last few times we've come home (which admittedly has been less than usual lately, as both the girls have been ill with various ailments which have broadly precluded us from friends' houses and playgroups) it has occurred to me that one of us is always standing, one is always crying and the other (always, ALWAYS me) is muttering expletives under their breath about whether it's really necessary or not. A bit like the Stand, Sit and Bend game.

It goes like this:

Get to the front door, Brooke begs to be allowed to "put the door on the hooker" (i.e. put the hook through the thing on the door so it stays open whilst I manouvre the buggy in) Not sure why she calls it that or what passing strangers must think.

Once "hooker duty" has been established and we are in the hallway, Taya starts lunging forwards in the buggy and gesturing wildly at the buggy harness. She wants to walk up those stairs dammit! Except I have learnt that letting her out to walk up on her own means she will inevitably stand and point at our downstairs neighbours flat shouting his name repeatedly, or wobbling precariously in the middle of the stairs while I stand behind her hoping to block her downhill path with the buggy or my foot, so that doesn't happen anymore. Instead I brace myself, bend at the knees and pick the buggy up along with the shopping and scooter. Taya cries in frustration. I know the feeling, pet.

**At this point Brooke wails that SHE wants to be carried, and freezes, saying that she can only "go one step". I'm halfway up the first flight, arms aching and Taya starting to calm down. At the top of the first flight, I park Taya (cue crying) and go back down to retrieve Brooke, who says "Mummy you rescued me!".

Deposit Brooke on the landing, push Taya along to next flight of stairs, repeat from **

Get to our door, Taya cries because she wants the keys. Brooke wants to be locked in the hallway so she can knock on our door and be let in as if she was a visitor. I am usually roasting by this point and slightly paranoid about what the neighbours think as they spy a 3 year old girl seemingly being locked out of her flat.

Inside the flat, mad scramble to remove coats, shoes, buggy harnesses. The phone usually rings at this point too. I am more often than not telling Brooke to PLEASE CALM DOWN!

Anyway, anyone who ever watched Whose Line Is It Anyway must surely remember the Stand, Sit and Bend game? I imagine the girls are playing their own version of that on me (conspiring in their room at night - "Okay so you pretend you can't walk up the stairs and when she gets you I'll take over the crying, agreed?") I googled it and found this fab video. I'd do our own version but it would be much noisier and also I'd need to hire a cameraman.

Helping hands

2011-03-19T07:04:00.002Z

I was doing a rare burst of housework this afternoon. (Don't worry, I'm ok now) I discovered some Shake N'Vac in the box of cleaning products which I don't remember buying. Anyway, thought I might as well use it up. Citrus Blossom scent. Nice.
Anyway, I started shimmying along the hall, shaking the stuff around in light sprinkles, only to be distracted by Taya yelling because Gigglebiz had finished on the iplayer in the kitchen. Back I went, not taking enough care to put the Shake N'Vac out of toddler reach.
Well inevitably Brooke decided she would put the freshness back for me. Thanks Brooke.

Baking with Brooke

2011-03-19T07:03:00.003Z

We were sitting on the sofa whilst Taya was having a nap.
"Mummy, can I have the rest of my caterpillar birthday cake now please?"
"Erm - well that cake is all gone sweetheart (*massive guilt, solo eating binge two days after her birthday*), Why don't we make some cupcakes instead?"
"YES! You are amazing Mummy, I love you so much" (*more guilt, slight smugness*)
So we made some cupcakes using a recipe from my Hummingbird Bakery book. I was imagining gorgeous moist sponge with swirls of delicious vanilla icing. We followed the recipe pretty accurately, apart from things like "room temperature butter", which obviously in my world is rock solid, straight from the fridge butter put into a prep pot and left on top of the oven for a few minutes followed by a frustrated blast in the microwave turning it into liquid.
And obviously strawberry icing was requested, so a few drops of red food colouring later...
"It takes like STRAWBER-RERRIES!"

I'd like to say that Brooke insisted us on using a flat baking tray instead of the little dented trays (what ARE they called? My brain is totally failing me at this moment.) that cupcakes are usually cooked in. But no, it was me. I wasn't sure if the heart shaped silicon cases would fit in so just decided to wing it with a plain tray. Hmm.
Brooke, however, was responsible for filling the cake cases. And repeatedly licking the spoon apparently.

As you can see from the grabby fingers, there was no "leave to cool" going on here.
It did cross my mind that these cakes didn't look exactly like the Hummingbird pictures, but hey ho!

Now I am pretty confident that Taya has joined the human race with some cutting edge technology embedded in her head which alerts her whenever food is ready, as she always seems to know when to wake up, or when to come to the kitchen if she is awake. She really could sniff out a slice of bread at 100 paces. She does look cute here though. Brooke insisted we recreate the birthday candle moment for both of them.

And here's the proud chef with one of her own.

I'm not sure whether it's a blessing or a curse that Brooke only wants to lick the icing off and leave the cake, because guess who ends up eating her licked cakes?

My top five over used expressions

2011-03-19T07:02:00.001Z

I would quite like to be able to erase the following expressions from my speech patterns.
5 - Come on!
As in, "I am behind you on the stairs holding a buggy, Taya, two bags of shopping and one scooter, could you please move your butt up the stairs?"
4 - Eat it nicely
As in, "I know you like freeforming with your food Taya, but that yogurt works best on a spoon heading into your mouth, rather than vigorously rubbed into your hair and clothes"
3 - That's lovely
As in "Yes you are very talented standing on one leg. Thank you for calling me from the kitchen in a panic to show me that"
2 - Come back here!
As in "Please don't run out of the playground into the road"
and my all time favourite, about a hundred times a day:
1 - Hang on!
As in - "I'm in the bathroom, you'll have to wait to show me your empty plate" or
"I'll push you on the swing as soon as I've retrieved your sister from the gate" (see above) or
"Yes you can have a drink of water, I am actually just dishing up your lunch if you don't mind awfully waiting another minute" or
"I can hear you shouting from the toilet. However I am in the bedroom with one leg in a pair of tights, I can't get to you instantly"
And so on. Hang on is wonderfully versatile. So those are mine.
What are yours?

If only

2011-03-19T07:01:00.002Z

We went to the library the other day and Brooke needed to go to the toilet. (This is becoming a repetitive theme on here I know) So off all three of us went. When we got in there I saw there was a 5p coin at the bottom of the toilet bowl. Thought "I'd better not let Brooke see that or she'll want to get it". So I put her on the toilet. Her "I need a wee!" turned into something more. When she was finished I lifted her off and she immediately wanted to see what she'd done. Except... it had disappeared up the u-bend, leaving behind... yup, just the 5p coin.

Well you can imagine what she thought, can't you?
And I thought "If only I had 5p for every time you had a poo"

Oh

2011-03-19T06:58:00.002Z

We left the playground this afternoon and started to walk home. As we walked down the road, a little girl ran towards us. We walked on, me pushing Taya in the buggy and Brooke pushing Teddy in hers. Brooke suddenly stopped pushing her buggy and began to run forwards herself, shouting "CICI!" (Cici is her name for her cousin)
Needless to say, the little girl wasn't Cici. I saw the scene unfolding, instantly knowing that embarrassing and discomfiting moment so tried to lessen the blow a little bit with "Oh she does look a bit like Cici doesn't she?" (wrong race, wrong hair, wrong face, wrong clothes but hey ho!)
Brooke stopped in her tracks, arms still outstretched. "Oh". The girl ran past us.
You should have seen the look on her face. "I'm a little bit sad Mummy. Can I play at Cici's house tomorrow?"

Magic car

2011-03-19T06:56:00.002Z

Well if your tv remote also happened to operate your child's toy car, wouldn't you feel compelled to play tricks on them? Poor Bob, I am mean!

Bob

2011-03-19T02:56:00.001Z

Remember Mrs Jeffers? AKA TayTay, Tay-Zilla etc.? Well she is talking a bit more now. When I say talking I really mean shouting her head off. Every morning we are woken by the sound of one of the girls yelling "Mummeeeee, Dadeeeee!" (Brooke) or "DAAAA DAAA! DAAA DAAA! DAAA DAAA!"(Taya) Every request is yelled repeatedly until fulfilled. No idea where their volume controls are located. The mute function would be helpful sometimes. So anyway, more words. Taya can now sayMama, Dada, MORE (most favourite word ever), Dat, Dere, Yeah, No, Bubble and a particular version of DAT which means Cat. And now, when I ask her to say Brooke, she says Bob. Brilliantly getting her own back then! Here she is in ASBO mode at Jeanne's party.

And here's Bob, who wants to know exactly when she can go to school like her friends. January hopefully!

New places

2011-03-19T02:47:00.001Z

I haven't learnt much lately, I've just been muddling along as usual. We went to the library yesterday, which has recently been completely rebuilt and now has a fab children's section which the girls can't escape from (doors too heavy). Clearly this is now a very enticing place for me to take them.

Afterwards we went to our new playground at Broadley Street Gardens. This park was shut about 2 years ago due to subsidence, and was due to open approx 18 months ago. It has been a long time coming, and now that is here I am a little disappointed that the playground is geared towards much older kids but I have to say the huge floor slide is a big hit. No edges to fall over anymore!

Guess what again

2011-03-19T02:44:00.000Z

Feeling a bit pleased with myself about now!

Snap shot of my life

2011-03-19T02:39:00.000Z

Today so far.
Soft play - Brooke went down the big slide, shortly followed by Taya, shrieking with delight. Brooke then stuck her head back up the slide to greet Taya. Heads bashed together, lots of crying.

Home via Tesco. On the way, have to stop and lift the buggy up so Taya can partake in pressing the crossing buttons. At Tesco, have to lift buggy again to let Taya recycle batteries. At the checkout, Taya pulled over all the Freshmint Extra display. Brooke found a penny on the floor. "TREASURE!"
On way home, Taya desperate to open packet of Cheerios, wailing along Bell Street.
Starts to rip packet at communal door. Abandon buggy. Carry shopping and crying Taya upstairs. Half way up, Brooke declares she can't walk anymore and stops.

Take Taya up, put her on doorstep with shopping. Back to get Brooke and carry her up. Find Taya playing with bananas, Cheerios abandoned, packet half open. Open the door, Taya goes in crying. Settle both with a bowl of Cheerios. Back downstairs to get buggy.

Both are asleep now.

More about crochet

2011-03-18T23:21:00.003Z

Remember I said I learnt to crochet? Well on Saturday whilst window shopping with my good friend Emma I saw a gorgeous pair of crocheted fingerless gloves in New Look. (I'd post the photo I took but it's probably a copyright issue?). Imagine my delight upon thinking "I don't have to buy these, I'm going to MAKE some!" So when I got home I found a free patten online and embarked upon a new project. See I told you not to hold your breath about the poncho for Brooke, I only have a pattern I love for that in a too small size. Anyway I'm sitting here now with one wrist done and have started increasing for the thumb hole. I love it, and I have a bar of Galaxy hazelnut. Life is good, even though the Cumberland sausage in my tummy now looks like it's sitting on a bed of mashed potato. On another note, this weekend I redeemed 2010's Tesco clubcard vouchers to date in their "double your rewards" promotion. (I'm sure it had a catchier name than that which escapes me). Whilst the administration of the scheme has clearly been a total cock up, post order service has been amazing with HDN texting me to tell me when my parcels would arrive, and then actually delivering them when they said they would, with orders placed late Saturday night arriving first thing today. Anyway, two great big cardboard boxes bore all the goodies so you can imagine what the girls enjoyed playing in, on and with today. Everyone's a winner!

Crochet and Mrs Jeffers again

2011-03-18T23:19:00.002Z

Here's what I've learnt recently. Cheap laminating pouches are cheap for a reason. They're crap. And prone to jamming in the laminator. Fortunately my clever husband was able to fix it, but like the stationery-saddo that I am, I was gutted for a few days when I thought it was unmendable. Similarly, refilled ink cartridges are also a waste of money. I am resigned to having to part with £80 whenever I need to replace both my HP ones. Next time I have this sort of money to spare I will be able to crack on with my photo family tree poster project which is 70% ready and just needs printing and sticking. Then I can put it up in the girls' bedroom so they can remember the names of all their many relatives.
Speaking of projects, I've finally been able to devote some time to learning how to crochet. I've wanted to learn for years, having always been a big fan of granny square blankets. Yet the skill eluded me despite some tuition from my good friends Liz at L'Ange Gaston and Amy. Anyway, a weeks forced bed rest finally provided me with the space and peace to concentrate and crack it. Now I have mastered double, treble and half treble stitches, circles and granny squares. I ordered some hooks off eBay (big mention to knitterknacks who delivered within 24 hours of my order) and am now embarking on a poncho for Brooke. Don't hold your breath or anything.
So my weeks bed rest followed my hernia repair surgery. That was NOT fun. I am glad that the unsightly protrusion above my belly button has been repaired. However now it looks as though I've had a Cumberland sausage implanted horizontally in the same place, rather than emerging from theatre with a flat belly as I was hoping. Sneezing is AGONY. Inhaling and choking on food resulting in a desperate compulsion to cough? Much pain. And here's something they didn't tell me beforehand, sometimes after open surgery (though more commonly with keyhole), air can get trapped inside you under the diaphragm. The nerves from which run up to your shoulders apparently, which is where the pain manifests. Ow. Anyway I'm much better now and people go through far worse things every day so I'll stop moaning now.
Here's an exciting snippet though. My sister worked out the origin of Mrs Jeffers! It's Brooke copying me telling Taya she's MISCHIEVIOUS. I LOVE IT! Also explains her indignation whenever we suggested that she was Mrs Jeffers.

Kids TV

2011-03-18T23:17:00.000Z

The biggest misconception people have about Stay At Home Mums is (I think) that we sit about watching Jeremy Kyle and Trisha all day long, painting our toe nails and drinking coffee. I'd like to put the record straight here and now. My toe nails were painted the other night by my niece, with a tasteful blue nail varnish from a High School Musical beauty set, which will now NOT come off with my nail varnish remover. I drink more tea than coffee and the only time I get to watch my choice of TV programmes is when the girls are in bed. The delights I get to watch are as follows:
Grandpa in my Pocket - Smug, self-satisfied old Grandpa (James Bolam) and grandson Jason Mason see off the harmless baddies by shrinking Grandpa with a magic cap. Always ends with them high-fiving and saying "Teamwork!"
Green Balloon Club - Eco warrier kiddies and Nature Chris and Skye fly around in a hot air balloon looking at nature and singing songs. The best song is It's A Dog's Life where you can see Nature Chris doing the doggy paws movements and wondering how his career brought him here.
Endless shows where adults dress up in oversized animal suits - ZingZillas, Tweenies, Fimbles,TeleTubbies, In The Night Garden.
Something Special - This is great. Justin is solely responsible for teaching Taya to sign CAKE.
Come Outside - I LOVE this one! Auntie Mabel and Pippin fly around and show us how the stripes are put into toothpaste, all about snails and how letters get delivered. There's one genius episode about sewage where Auntie Mabel picks up Pippin's poo and flushes it down the toilet.
Same Smile - a show "celebrating diversity". Urgh. I hate this one the most. The woman can't say anything without ending with a giggle or "YEAHHH!"
The shows I don't mind all happen to be on the Nick Jr channel which means LOTS of adverts, butPeppa Pig, Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom, Humf and Dora The Explorer all get my vote. We love the deadpan delivery of Miss Rabbit / Nanny Plum.
Don't get me started on Sarah Jane Honeywell, how Wayne Jackman seems to write every other kids program that is aired and the many wrongs of Balamory. In any case, the cult of Disney Princesses seems about to take over so I can moan about that next.

Gorgeous day out

2011-03-18T23:13:00.005Z

We had a lovely day today. First up we went to Battersea Park Children's Zoo with playgroup. The girls charged around checking out the animals (amials) ("Look at this! Look at this! I want to show you this!"), scoffed their picnic, got saturated with sand and water in the sand pit, rode a ride on and Taya fell asleep in the buggy. We got the bus and we were going to change at Hyde Park corner but Taya was awake at this point and it was gloriously sunny so we decided to walk through the park instead to get ice creams. Normally I'm racing around between places in order to get Taya home for naps, but since I'd already written today off in terms of routine, it was lovely to take a leisurely walk in the sunshine. We found an ice cream van man who sold us mini sized cones and sat down on the grass. The girls were behaving so beautifully and making me laugh. I had a real moment of "Wow, my life, right here and now, is pure gold". That doesn't happen all that often! I don't mean to sound ungrateful but it's so easy to be worrying about the next thing to be done and rescuing one or the other from situations instead of enjoying it all.
Anyway, then we got the bus home. A nice older couple admired the girls "Hello, what's your name? And what about your little brother? Oh she's a girl is she? Taylor? My friend's daughter had a boy called Taylor. Oh it's Taya? Yes I thought it was a boy's name, but she's a girl?". We popped home to drop off the picnic bag, then met a new friend at the local playground. A lovely, lovely day.

Public inconveniences

2011-03-18T23:13:00.004Z

Have you ever tried taking two toddlers into a public toilet? This morning we were at soft play which is at the local leisure centre. The ladies toilets are quite small so we opted for the disabled toilet which also doubles up as a disabled changing room for the swimming pool. Big mistake. As I rushed to get Brooke onto the seat, Taya ran around like a loon. Both had just odd socks on their feet and of course the floor was wet, so back I dashed to take Taya's socks off. No matter, she ran around and slipped over instead, landing on her bum which then became sodden from the wet floor. Meanwhile Brooke is telling me to "Close your eyes, go away, CLOSE YOUR EYES MUMMY" because privacy is obviously very important for a young lady. At this point Taya is trying to open the door, then crouching down rubbing her hands around in the puddles on the floor. Brooke gets off the toilet and asks if I'd like to see what she's done. Taya is trying to open the door again. Brooke slips over trying to get dressed. I am washing my hands, both girls are trying to open the door.
I am tempted to write to them asking to invest in some of these seats, which I can tell you now are a GODSEND.

Socks and Mrs Jeffers

2011-03-18T23:12:00.001Z

If your child has a propensity to remove their socks at soft play (presumably to get better leverage up those rubber padded stairs, rather than to get closer to all the muck at the bottom of the ball pit), dress them in some of those odd socks whose partners got eaten in the washing machine.(This happens to everyone, right?) I'd much rather have lost one pink sock and one flowery one than a decent pair of plain whites. "Where are your socks Brooke?" I asked her. "I don't know..." Guess who had to rummage amongst the coloured balls and climb up through the rope nets to look for them in vain? I did quite enjoy coming down the big tunnel slide though.
The whole point of this blog is so that Brooke and Taya can read it when they are older and see what sort of stuff they got up to. So I feel I should note for posterity that lately Brooke has started calling Taya Mrs Jeffers. I have no idea why. Taya doesn't seem to mind. She is far too busy cutting her fourth tooth (FINALLY getting them through!) and saying Mama quite a lot. Heart-melting.

Painted faces

2011-03-18T23:11:00.003Z

You shouldn't have high expectations of face paint sets. Particularly of your own capabilities if you have trouble even drawing reasonable smiley faces or stick men. Don't you think Alyssa's vampire effort on my mug is the best of the lot? Believe it or not Brooke and Alyssa are meant to be tigers (I was trying to copy the only picture on the box) and Taya is a butterfly because she couldn't stop grabbing the sponge long enough for me to do anything more detailed (i.e. I couldn't think of anything else). The real trouble is when they all run around rubbing their faces on furniture and clothes leaving patches of orange. And then again when you have to try and scrub it off in the bath.
Fortunately the set will be used up soon and my artistic shortcomings can remain hidden again.

Holiday lessons

2011-03-18T23:10:00.000Z

I learnt HEAPS of stuff on holiday. First and foremost is that you should never put your child in a naughty corner that involves a door with a key on their side. Especially if the other door into the house is also locked when you are in the garden and they are the only person in the house. There was a frantic ten minutes spent at the door imploring her to turn the key "the other way, no the OTHER way" and debating which would be the most appropriate window to smash.
What else did I learn? Well mostly that camping with 2 under 3 year olds is fine. If you like your holidays slightly more stressful than being at home combined with the total abandonment of your usual routine and continually retrieving your children from other people's tents, that is. It was nice, we did some fun things like riding the steam train to Swanage, Putlake Adventure Farm (at which I held a lamb and the girls fed a goat) and visiting Corfe Castle. However we did spend one night frantically trying to calm a screaming Taya in the wee small hours which pretty much convinced us to go home, especially as it was followed by a pub meal the next evening at which the girls just ran rings around us. Food thrown, drinks spilt, continual shouting and running off... just not fun really! The tent, sadly, did not survive to see another camping holiday. Bye bye tent, you lasted us well for 8 years. I don't think we'll be doing it again until the girls are a fair bit older but c'est la vie. You live and learn. Other things I learnt and some photos now:
A £4 kite from Asda might be one of the best purchases ever.
Don't run over other people's barbecues with a big car.
Put a waterproof pad of some description under a child who refuses to go to the toilet then falls asleep in the car.
Don't go to public toilets with a two year old who seems to know exactly when you don't want her to open the cubicle door.
Don't imagine you can go to the beach wearing your new swimsuit with stylish cover up and relax with a book.
Campsites might be prone to slight exaggeration.

Singing

2011-03-18T23:08:00.002Z

Lately Brooke has started composing her own little storytale songs. Whilst we're walking somewhere she'll start up a fairly tuneless babble about things around us and repeat the last few words of whatever I've said to her, over and over. Today we had "The bus driver happy, the bus driver wave at me, the bus driver like me...". The most random one is "Where's your bruvAH? Where's your bruvAH?" The most apt one is "Mummy says no, Mummy says no..." and my personal favourite was made up the other day. We were at the library when it became apparent that Taya needed a clean nappy. Off to the toilets we went, and wouldn't you know it, I have no wet wipes. So I'm battling a stinker with paper towels doused in cold water whilst Brooke is turning on all the taps, peering at a poor woman under the cubicle door and it's a little bit stressful because of course Taya wants to put her hands in her nappy as well. So the song that starts up is "You can't sit DOWN, you can't sit DOWN..." as who wants their child to sit on the floor of a public toilet? It sounds rubbish written down, and it's probably only me who's tickled by it, but it made a not great situation a bit better.

Exploring

2011-03-18T13:19:00.000Z

With age comes responsibility.Who said that? Can we please get it changed to "With age comes climbing"? At least in terms of toddlers. Look.

I have no photos to prove it but last night Brooke called us into their room saying she wanted to get out of Taya's cot. Mmm hmm, yes she'd managed to scale the bars and broke into her sister's bed. We have to keep the gate to the kitchen shut whenever we're not in there now as Taya pulls the chairs out, climbs up them and onto the kitchen table where she hits the laptop till it makes noises we've not heard before. Yesterday she mounted the trunk in our bedroom and went from there went right up on the window sill to bang and get the attention of passing strangers. The back of the sofa is a hotspot for sitting on and pulling all the DVDs off the shelf. The armchair is a mere gateway to the exciting printer with plastic bits that can be removed if pulled hard enough. Interesting times.

Speech impediments

2011-03-18T11:38:00.002Z

"I'm going to crap you Mummy" was one of the first things Brooke said to me this morning. She then proceeded to applaud me, probably for getting her a bowl of cereal, I forget what the momentous event was. In any case, I was glad that we hadn't started the day with another poo incident. I've also been asked to admire Taya crapping before now as well. This inability to say the L sound is also quite amusing when she sings along to the Timmy Time theme, especially the line "he's a little lamb with a lot to learn". This time each L is replaced with a Y sound. Imagine my confusion on Sunday when she told me she'd drawn a picture for me, and I thanked her. "Not you Mummy, YOU" she insisted. It was a good few minutes until we established the picture was in fact for her friend Ollie's mummy Lou. Ollie of course, is Orrie. Lids are yids. Hairclips are crips. Farleys Rusks bizarrely become Charley's Biscuits. I love these inbetween words, I almost hope she says them forever.
Of course I can't talk. Literally. I found my pregnancy journal the other day where I had noted down all the nonsense I had spouted whilst with bump;

Smallened and biggened. (Ah yes those pesky wedding rings I bought with temporarily inflated fingers.)
Buttom (mixture of bottom and buttock)
Reunitions (reunions, specifically tearful ones at the airport)
Re-enactions (historical)
Tweezers (kitchen tongs)

And Chris called Taya Tyre yesterday so clearly it runs in the family. Little Miss has just started speaking too (Dat! Diss! Moh! Moh! Yeah! Hiya!, all very emphatic) so it's surely just a matter of time until she has her own idiosyncrasies to throw into the mix. Yeah I know that's not quite the right word but that in itself is entirely in keeping with this post so it stays ;o)

Gender confusion

2011-03-18T11:37:00.000Z

Clearly my girls are in no hurry to grow hair or teeth. At 14 months Taya just has her two front lower teeth and a couple of centimeters of super soft downy blonde hair. Brooke was no quicker to lose the Phil Mitchell / bruiser look and subsequently both have been confused for boys on many occasions. Just yesterday on our way to the playground we called in at the corner shop. The man behind the counter gave Brooke a chewy sweet then another "for your little brother". "She's a girl!" I proclaimed, somewhat defensively. "Oh" he continued, digging a little deeper, "Well she looks like a boy". This is not the stupidest comment I've had though. When Brooke was small and we were on the tube, a suited young man said he thought she was a boy because "she has blue eyes". I looked at him with my feminine pink eyes and wondered what planet he was from. I had all this in mind when I recently bought a new buggy. It came in black (too vanilla, and I'm trying to move away from my middle of the road positioning), green (too reminiscent of my school uniform) or bright pink. Guess which I went for? I figured it might at least put paid to some of the comments. So here's my youngest in her colourful chariot.

At the door

2011-03-18T11:35:00.000Z

Brooke is 2 1/2. She's not wowed with the idea of going to bed at 7pm every night and frequently, as soon as their bedroom door is shut, gets up and hammers at the door. Sometimes she kicks it. One night she rattled the handle so much it actually fell off. We try to avoid going in so will go to the door and ask her what's wrong. She tends to draw upon this library of excuses:

I want more milk
I've done a poo (we think she can actually do this on demand to stretch bedtimes out that little bit longer)
Where's [other parent]? I need to cuddle him / her!
I want a cuddle / torch / books
I don't want to go to bed!

She can perform in other ways to get our attention as well. Sharing a room with her sister has some benefits then, as she knows hurling the contents of her shoe basket into Taya's cot will usually draw one of us in to make amends. Another time she pulled open all the drawers of their chest of drawers. I heard a crash as the nappy change basket slid off the top and hit the floor, and came into the room to find Brooke looking like some cartoon super-hero holding the whole thing up at a 45 degree angle. In fact the lowest bookshelf prevented it from tipping any further but I didn't realise that when I went into the room and bellowed "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" in horror and fright.
Recently Chris went in and found her reading to Taya through the bars of the cot. When he asked her to get into bed she refused. He asked if she was going to sleep on the floor and she said yes. Thinking nothing more of it, we were surprised to hear crying at half ten and went in to find her waking from a warm carpet nest on the floor where she had taken him at his word and pulled a pillow and blanket down to make a bed.
I often think of setting up a webcam in their room to watch their nocturnal habits. I tried this once with our video camera when Brooke was about 18 months. I set it up on the shelf for her lunchtime nap and later got to watch her sitting up in bed the moment I shut the door, wave at the camera and make a triangle with her head and feet on the bed, pointing her bum at the camera. No flies on that girl.

Asleep

2011-03-18T11:33:00.000Z

There's nothing quite like the sight of your sleeping child to undo the knot of frustration of a day's bad behaviour. No matter how many times Brooke's been in the naughty corner, hit her sister or called me stupid, once I see her asleep I just collapse into adoration. And I have to take photos. She's not had a nap today so she's gone to bed overtired and frazzled. Not tonight then the knocking at the door two minutes after we've shut it, not tonight the emptying of drawers or throwing shoes into Taya's cot. Not tonight the call for the toilet to stall going to bed just a little bit longer or the reading of books by torchlight under the covers. But tomorrow? She'll drive me crazy with incessant questions, and not listen to the answers no doubt. She'll refuse to eat lunch then beg for ice cream. I expect she'll have a paddy about getting dressed, undressed and anything else in between. And then she'll nap, I'll melt and we'll do the whole merry dance again.

Laughing

2011-03-18T06:55:00.001Z

Just to show that despite my gloomy name and previous posts, it's not all cynical poo drama in this household.

"Where's my hat?"

2011-03-18T02:14:00.000Z

What else should you do in hot weather in England with kids, other than a picnic? So of course we've had a few over the past few days, and the girls' behaviour has been like this; Brooke runs around like a wild banshee, throws her crocs off at any opportunity, refuses to wear her hat, eats very little, pinches other kids toys and goes inside their sun tents, then cries when it's time to go and begs for an ice cream. Having been told that if she doesn't wear her hat she won't get an ice cream, of course when she hears those tinkling chimes she starts demanding "WHERE'S MY HAT? WHERE'S MY HAT?" so she can put it on and get an ice cream. She's not stupid. She's clearly learnt the rules of engagement because when we set out today she asked if she could have one. It being a few degrees cooler and my purse a few ice cream cones poorer, I said no. To which she replied "I be naughty then".
Taya on the other hand, isn't that bothered about the playground other than to go on the swings. If you put a picnic blanket down and pull out some food, she sticks with you until she's had her fill. Sandwiches are opened, fillings eaten and bread stamped on. Bags of crisps for dipping in humous? Bag ripped open for easier access, fistfuls of humous brought to mouth (and chin, neck, hair etc). Grapes are put in the mouth, popped and then spat out and danced on. Thank god for wet wipes.
The journey home is typically one in the sling on my back and one in the buggy. Inevitably one or both of them fall asleep and when we get home I have to lug two kids, one picnic bag and one buggy up 37 steps. They pass out for 2 hours whilst I blog about their little quirks for posterity. Nice.

Lost and found

2011-03-18T02:13:00.000Z

This morning we went to the Princess Diana Memorial Playground. It's huge, so inevitably there came a time when I couldn't find Brooke. I did a circuit and a half, then headed to the gate to see if she'd tried to make a break for it. The gate is staffed, so I asked them if they'd seen her, then they asked me what she looked like. "She's 2, she's wearing a pink flowery hat and pink knickers" (thanking my good sense not to let her go nudey-nudey as requested). The security guard found her before me - "Is that her, captaining the boat?" Of course it was, a small crowd of new comrades at her side. I probably should have just left her to it but that time spent looking for her, thinking how vulnerable she was wondering around in just knickers and hat, made me want her to come with me for a cuddle and 5 minutes back on the picnic blanket. Was she impressed at being removed from the helm? No, of course not, and proceeded to scream loudly as though being abducted as I carried her back to our spot. At least I was able to get her dressed again at that point.

PLayground

2011-03-18T02:11:00.000Z

There's not much fun to be had for the parents at the playground when the little one has just discovered she can get up the metal steps, and the big one stands at the top of the climbing frame and shouts to you that she's done a poo in her nappy. She's not wearing a nappy. *Cue sinking feeling*

Floor

2011-03-18T02:04:00.000Z

There is absolutely NO point in spending time sweeping and mopping the floor before Taya has finished eating for the day, other than to take comfort that when I pick it up and give it straight back to her, it's got less germs on it than it would have had this morning. I'm sure she is trying to feed an invisible dog under the table. Also, when I buy Cheerios, why keep them in the cupboard? I should save myself the time and dishes and simply scatter them around the flat and in my slippers instead.

Play-Doh

2011-03-17T23:08:00.000Z

You can't expect kids to respect your OCD tendencies. You can sit there and try to separate all the mixed up play-doh when they've finished trampling on your nerves though.